All's Well for an Optimist.
So the news is, Actress Jiah khan
committed suicide (recently) due to a failed relationship. If everyone with
failed relationships ended up committing suicide the earth would pretty soon be
de-populated. I am not; pardon me, making fun of Jiah Khan, dead that she is
now. I am merely pointing out the incongruity of her actions when she had a
bright and independent future ahead of her, a future which might not have
included a happy relationship but had almost everything else her heart desired.
Her first movie (and the only
movie i saw of her) Nishabd proved that she was a fine actress, considering
that the only part of her acting we saw on-screen was her toned legs. But that’s
par for the course with Ram Gopal Varma, for his movies feature specific body
parts in place of heroines - like Urmila Matondkar's butt, Antara Mali's abs
and Priyanka Kothari's breasts. The actresses themselves are not germane to
RGV's movies, just their assets are all that is required and shown on the big
screen.
Anyway to return to Jiah khan, she
could have benefited from adequate help or psychological counseling in time,
but actresses are both narcissistic and afraid of public opinion. These
celebrities are adept at hiding their wounds from everyone and hence suffer
more, compared to the ordinary mortals like us who rant and rave everywhere
when our hearts are broken. And which in its own way is an effective pill for
our ills, a stress busting cry for help, bringing succor from near and dear friends.
Which brings me to the story of my
friend who has recently undergone heartbreak. She is the celebrity type who
believes that a break-up is the end of the world as she knows. While i, wise
old man that i am, have been telling her that love is fleeting and to be
enjoyed and remembered only and even if grasped tightly cannot be retained
without spilling out of our hands like water. At a certain point of time when
it happens, love will seem all there is to life, but if you move on you will be
left with just the good memories and a sense of closure.
And that’s my personal philosophy
based on my personality. But it might not be applicable to everyone for some
people are inherently pessimistic. While some, like me, are the polar opposite-
the extreme optimists like Micawber in David Copperfield. If you remember that
glass is full/half/empty analogy- people are divided into pessimists, optimists
and realists. But no one is fully one thing or the other all the time. We
alternate depending on our moods and circumstances. Sometimes we are one and
sometimes we are another.
In the middle of a company of
boisterous friends even the most pessimistic of people feel that there must be
something more to life other than this sadness they are feeling. Lying alone on
a bed, in the dark hours of the night, even the most ardent optimist feels the
pangs of pessimism when reality strikes and we take a good hard look at our
current life and say to ourselves "hold on, my life sucks. Is this how it
is going to be five years or ten years down the line too? How can I face such a
future?"
Such doubts which are crushed deep
inside ourselves during busy daytime activities strike unexpectedly in the deep
reaches of the night when our psychological defenses are down and we feel all
alone. The optimist faces these doubts and fears just like the pessimist does.
While the pessimists give in to their fears and despair of ever being happy
again, the optimists’ soldier on, hoping for a turning point and postponing any
important decisions till the morning comes.
And when you wake up in the
morning and see a fresh new day with a bright sun shining outside, then you
realize that you are at the start of a glorious day, a day with endless
possibilities, where anything might happen before night falls. You tell
yourself that THIS is the day that your luck turns, the dice fall your way and
all your wishes will be gratified and you believe it wholeheartedly and go out
with a smile on your lips. And sometimes it comes true too. Even if not, well
there is always tomorrow and a fresh start again.
So the difference between an
optimist and pessimist is that while a pessimist believes that tomorrow will be
the same as today, while the optimist believes that tomorrow will turn out
different and everything wished for will happen. And the super-optimists like
me? Well, we believe that tomorrow comes in the next hour and everything will
change by evening. If there is one thing which life has taught me it is that
life is very consistent in its inconsistencies. Nothing is the same again.
Things change in a jiffy- for good or bad. No one can predict what comes next-
the unsinkable Titanic sunk, didn’t it? So if bad things can happen so suddenly
why not expect the obverse? That good things might happen too, unexpectedly?
Imagine such good things happening
to you and go out with a smile every day. As a last resort console yourself with
the idea that a man who eats one meal a day need not be afraid to starve while
he who eats thrice a day should be afraid of famine and hunger. So if your life already sucks then
hey, you got nothing to be frightened of anymore, right? And so look forward
with hope and believe it’s just around that corner or will happen tomorrow
definitely.
In the immortal words of Charles
dickens character Mr.Micawber from David Copperfield "What if something turns
up?" and his motto “Remember my motto -Nil Desperandum! -Never
despair!"
And so I am waiting for something
to turn up soon. And will never despair. Do so likewise, dear friends.
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