How-To
Survive a Terror Quiz
Trapped in a heavy traffic jam
courtesy an impromptu political rally on Mount Road, I let my mind wander
around to a weird question. What if I got caught in a terror attack? Would I be
among the survivors when it was all over? Would I attempt something foolhardy
like challenging them? Or would I do the wise thing and keep my head down till
the real professionals got into the rescue act? If I was lined up to be shot, would
i accept death with equanimity or would my knees start knocking at imminent
death?
The Nairobi Shopping Mall attacked by Terrorists |
The Shoppers under attack by Al Shabab Terrorists |
The immediate provocation for this
line of morbid thoughts was the Kenyan Shopping Mall terror attack where a
terror group called Al Shabab which is loosely affiliated to Al Queda (remember
them from the good old 9/11 days?) had attacked an up-market shopping mall and
executed daytime shoppers for their consumerist lifestyle.....naah, I am just
kidding, they only killed Jews, Christians and Hindus for being unbelievers.
Talk about being in the wrong place at the wrong time. If you ask me, there
must be easier ways to teach people the lesson about not indulging in retail
therapy to ease emotional pains than putting a gun to their heads and making
them swear off daytime shopping.
Answer Or Die |
As I sat there in the unmoving
traffic, I indulged in every writer’s right to day dream- i pictured a fantasy
about being trapped in such a shopping mall attack along with my group of
friends. And i immediately came to the startling conclusion that the only one
who was sure to survive the attack would be my friend Sylvian Patrick. Now, before
you start imagining my friend Sylvian as one of those muscle bound action
heroes like Sly Stallone or kick ass martial arts hero like Jean Claude VanDamme
or a clone of Bruce Willis in the Diehard movies, let me clarify that his
strongest weapon is his mind. The man is damn brilliant when it comes to
general knowledge for he is a renowned quiz master and regularly conducts
quizzes as a hobby. There is even a nasty rumor that he reads the editorials in
the morning paper before he even opens Page-3 like us normal people do, to
stare at starlets.
Bruce and Sylvian...the look-alike's |
If you had read the newspapers
carefully you would know that the Al Shabab terrorists who attacked the Kenyan
Shopping Mall had shown themselves fans of TV quiz programs like Mastermind and
KBC. They had conducted an impromptu quiz session to select people to kill by
asking them general knowledge questions like "what is the name of Prophet
Mohammed's mother?" Those who didn’t answer correctly (and within time)
were shot dead while the lucky winners won the ultimate prize of - not being
shot immediately. And that’s why I reasoned that Sylvian will Die-harder and
survive the terrorist attack as he could come out guns, errrr, answers blazing.
Sylvian and Me- at Beer Prong |
That made me wonder at my how my
other friends would perform in a similar life or death quiz. I guess a few of
my other friends might know the answers to the Terror Quiz too (hmmm, i hate to
boast- but I do move around in intellectual circles you know) but i am not sure
about their performance in the Rapid-Fire round......with a, say a hundred
AK-47 bullets being fired rapidly at them, will they beat the bell and scream
the correct answers? I am not sure I could, for I think best when i am calm and
collected and not being shot at by assorted terrorists screaming allahu akbar.
Finally i got to thinking of what
if the tables were reversed? What if i got the terrorists to answer my quiz
questions? i am sure i could make them sweat with questions like:
1) Name ALL the wives of Lord
Krishna?
2) Name ALL the sons of ND Tiwari?
3) Name ALL the seats that the
Congress party will win in the upcoming 2014 elections...Oh wait, this one is
fairly easy and most people, including terrorists might get it right.
Anyway, by the end of my daydream
i came to the conclusion that the only way I could survive such a terror quiz
was to no, not take the easy way of brushing up my general knowledge but to
form a killer team with intelligent teammates who can beat the buzzer and
befuddle terrorists. Well, that’s my playbook to win a Terror Quiz. So what’s
your game plan?
Kickass post, Doc. Sylvian looks so paavam in comparison to that toughie Bruce Willis. Why oh Why, I ask?
ReplyDeleteJoy always,
Susan
i agree completely Susan and thats the reason the terrorists might mistake him for a common man and ask him the easy questions.....which of course he will bat out of the park, wont he?
Delete