Film Review – Batman Vs Superman: Dawn of Justice -3D

Film Review – Batman Vs Superman: Dawn of Justice -3D

With great expectations come great disappointments...i dunno who said that and I am guessing its not Tobey Maguire from the first spider-man movie but it aptly fits the film I am going to be reviewing this week. Batman Vs Superman – Dawn of Justice has been in the works for almost a couple of years and has aroused great expectations from all film aficionado's. And not only because of the interesting premise- the clash between two do-gooders, two superheros, but also because of the interesting cast choice- Ben Affleck as the batman. Now there were a lot of detractors who prophesied that casting an over the hill actor like Affleck in a role requiring a macho action star was going to have a disappointing end and they have been proved right. Ben affleck does indeed look completely out of place as the suave Bruce Wayne but considering the storyline features a washed out version of batman who has been fighting crime- unsuccessful at that- for twenty years, Ben Affleck with his negligible screen presence fits the role of an afterthought superhero. Unfortunately he gets more screen time than the more popular superman character played by Henry Cavil. Which contributes a lot to the overall disappointment of the film.

The storyline is simple – batman feels superman is reckless and is not worried about collateral damage to the hundreds of civilians (dead civilians) who get caught in between when superman is fighting super-villains. On the other side of the equation superman is worried that batman is a lone vigilante who doesn't care about law or justice and simply hunts down criminals as a vendetta. So superman wants to bring batman to justice while batman simply wants to kill off superman to remove any alien threat to the planet. And just when you think the movie gets interesting and the two heroes face off for a showdown the plot  borrows from countless Indian movies which utilize the “mother sentiment” to have a dramatic turning point.

In this instance it is a dying superman who is critically weakened by batman's kryptonite bullets shouting his mother's name- Martha, which coincidentally is also batman's dead mother's name, which means ultimately that batman doesn't kill him but embraces him as brother. At least they stopped with that. Any more clichéd and they could have released it as a straight Tamil movie. Superman's girlfriend Lois Lane who is a reporter discovers that the whole showdown was orchestrated by Jesse Eisenberg who plays a young Lex Luthor and the two superheros join hands to find Luther who has by now found himself a convenient super-beast made from alien DNA. The climax involves a motley group of beaten down metahumans like superman and the wonder woman joined by a lone normal human batman in battling the  creature. Ultimately superman makes the supreme sacrifice of killing the creature with a kryptonian weapon and in the process killing himself off.

Director Zack Snyder who made the eminently watchable 300 has badly erred in making the farce of a superhero movie which cannot hold the audience's interest beyond the first few minutes. An interesting plot goes haywire in execution.

Verdict- watch for the TV premiere.

Film Review: The Hobbit - 3D, Dec-2012

Disclaimer: Spoiler Alert. This Review contains complete Story details and discussions. So do not read if you are planning to watch the movie soon.

For those, who have watched The Lord of the Rings series of movies- LOTR, The Two Towers And Return of the King, the Hobbit is a must watch movie. And not just because it’s a prequel to the LOTR series and provides a lot of background to the story of how the One Ring was acquired by Bilbo and Frodo’s Journey to Mordor, to the Mountains of Doom to destroy it. And even if you haven’t watched the LOTR series till now (because you have just landed on planet earth in your flying saucer), you should watch The Hobbit because it’s a damn good movie on its own and worth watching for not only the fantasy story but also the special effects, especially when seen in 3-D. The Hobbit has released in 2 versions- the 3-D version and the 2-D version. Please, please skip the 2-D version even if you get free tickets, free snacks and the company of a pretty girl thrown in besides. On second thoughts take the pretty girl with you and go see some other movie, and reserve the hobbit for watching only in 3-D. Because this is a movie worth watching only in 3-D. I got to watch the film, first day/first show at Escape theatre in EA Mall in 3-D with a sound system boasting of Dolby Atmos- the latest in digital sound technology. And I am still reeling with the effect of the movie. It’s as if I am walking around middle earth, expecting goblins and orcs to leap out at me at every turn.

To start at the beginning, if you have read the LOTR books, then I am pretty damn sure you would have read the prequel “The Hobbit” too and formed your own idea of how Mirkwood would be, or how Smaug would look like. If you haven’t read the book till now, here goes the story. Bilbo Baggins, a quiet little hobbit is spending his life, having meals and smoking pipes, when the wizard Gandalf who is passing by his village in the shire, decides to give Bilbo a taste of some adventure. He makes a mark on his door labeling it as a burglars place and a group of dwarfs who are looking for a burglar to accompany them on an adventure barge into his house and make merry. This has a great little sequence (courtesy the director Peter Jacksons quirky twist) where Bilbo looks at the pile of dirty dishes after the feast and wonders who will wash it, when all the dwarfs join in a song (fantastic music/tune btw) and simultaneously do the dishes, juggling them from dwarf to dwarf without breaking but leaving them in a gleaming pile. When they finally broach the topic of the adventure which involves traveling to Erebor, the dwarf kingdom under the lonely mountain to kill the dragon Smaug which lives there, Bilbo to everyone’s amusement, faints.

The next day, Bilbo, to his shock finds that he really wants an adventure in his life and rushes off to join the dwarfs and Gandalf on their journey. On the way to Erebor, they run into a lot of trouble, like in all adventure stories. From Trolls, Wolves, Orcs and all sorts of creatures. One of the best scenes of the movie is when they are climbing a mountain, only to find that it is a rock giant come alive and do battle with another rock giant, with the adventurers clinging on to the moving rock. Azog the Orc king, hunts them with his wolf band, because of his old enmity with Thorin Oakenshield, the leader of the dwarfs and the only living prince of Erebor. But in a cinematic moment (with cinematic licence) Bilbo saves Thorin’s life when he is about to be beheaded by the Orcs ( something which is not in the book) and Thorin apologizes for the rough treatment of Bilbo till then.

And then comes the highlight of the film, Gollum’s entry (the claps/whistles in the theatre were equal to any seen in a Rajnikant movie). When the dwarfs and the hobbit get separated during a flight from the chasing orcs, Bilbo gets lost in the deep dark subterranean cave  where Gollum lives and has lived on for centuries preying on everything living, with the help of his magic ring “my Precious” which makes the wearer invisible to everyone’s eyes. The ring somehow (magically) falls down from Gollum’s hand and is found by Bilbo who then has a nasty encounter with Gollum where they ask each other riddles (instead of fighting), the wager being, if Bilbo wins, Gollum will show him the way outside, but if Gollum wins, he will eat Bilbo. Bilbo manages to win that contest by asking “Guess what’s in my pocket?” which Gollum cannot answer even in three tries. Gollum treacherously refuses to accept his defeat but instead searches for his ring to wear (become invisible) and then kill Bilbo. That’s when he realizes what Bilbo has in his pocket and with murderous rage, chases after Bilbo. Bilbo manages to avoid him by wearing the ring on his finger and becoming invisible and Gollum takes him straight to the cave entrance, thinking Bilbo will have to pass there somehow. This Bilbo does, by taking one long, clean jump over Gollum’s head and rushing off outside to join Gandalf and the dwarfs waiting for him. And that’s how the one ring comes to Frodo in the start of the Lord of the Rings.

There are a lot of guest appearances in the movie from the LOTR series, Frodo is shown early on, as are Elrond and Galadriel the Elf lord and lady. Even Saruman the white is shown as a good guy before he turns to evil later on in the Two Towers. But the best new character has to be Radagast the Brown another wizard, who goes about in a chariot drawn by a dozen rabbits and who, though he looks like a comedian in the beginning, shows his stuff by going alone to Dol Goldur where Sauron, the dark lord lives (called as the necromancer in this movie but shown as the Burning Eye in LOTR) and battles to death a dread lord of Angmar, before escaping with his sword as evidence. Something which even Gandalf doesn’t do in any of the books. 

The director Peter Jackson has indeed brought alive the book as a well made film (one book into 3 films) and has left me salivating for part 2. And oh, the last scene of the film shows the Dragon Smaug opening his eyes and looking angrily at someone making a disturbance outside his house. With more to follow in the next part. To be released sometime in June, 2013.

P.S. On a related note, I really should grow up and stop behaving like a teenager. I really should stop acting first and start thinking later. And really, really stop jumping into things given the smallest opening or slightest chance. And although I am feeling like a god and grinning all over, courtesy all the adventures I had today on my quest to watch this movie. Its time I stopped pulling rabbits out of the hat, time I stopped charming, charming little ladies and time I stopped dicing with fate to do things I had set my mind on. It’s really past time I grew up and started acting my age. Like Bilbo Baggins I should write about my own adventures someday later on and leave you with just this review of The Hobbit.

(Images Courtesy: Google Images)

Part 2_How A 3-D Film Ended Up Becoming A 3-X Film

          

(This Post contains Strong and Explicit content and is suitable only for Adult Readers and those above 18+ yrs.....)

    

 Part 2 – We decide on a movie

So there I was sitting and minding my own work when, guess who pops in? Manoj. Actually, I had more than an inkling that he might do…for the day had gone uniformly bad till then and as they say bad luck never comes alone but in spades. I had hoped for a quite end to the day, but it was not to be. The nurse who was stationed outside had failed to warn me that I had an unwelcome visitor and I just couldn’t run out the back door like I had often done before. But this time I was caught in a vice and had to go with the flow, wherever fate lead me on today, because Manoj was here and he was not the character to take “no” for an answer. Resigned to my fate, I gave a wan smile and welcomed him in and asked him to sit down and then as the stupid nurse at last peeked in, I signaled to her to go and get us a couple of coffees and that gave us the privacy to talk freely.

After the initial “Howdy dudes” I asked Manoj what was up with his life and he shrugged to indicate nothing major. I went on probing “I heard you got engaged some time back, how’s that coming along? When’s the glad date, for the nuptials?”. He shrugged again and said “It’s been called off- the girl didn’t like me or my attitude” “What attitude?” I enquired in a wondering tone “You usually know your way around girls, dude and I can’t believe that you messed up. Looking foolish in front of girls is for mere mortals like me, but you?” I shook my head in disbelief. ”Ahhh” he dragged the word out as if unwilling to share a painful story, then taking the plunge went on “everything was fine till the engagement dude and then she showed her evil side. She wanted me to abandon my parents and move in with her parents. How can I do that? Am I not an only son? And you know how much love my mother has kept on me?” and he wiped a tear from the corner of his eye. 

I almost believed him then, almost, and if I didn’t know my friend better, I would have said that he really grieved for the lost girl. But I had already had inside information and so I only wondered how fine an actor had been lost to the film world. I looked around in my drawer for the box of tissues I kept there for the rare day I needed some solace and I offered him one and waited for him to wipe his eyes, blow his nose and compose himself before I said “Dude. Bala told me everything already” and I smiled at him. He immediately grinned at me and winked – “It happens dude, she deserved it.” And I smiled back. That’s the thing with Manoj- you catch him red-handed – he will accept it immediately and cheerfully, instead of offering any half-assed excuses. 

Now the story that Bala had told me earlier was that Manoj’s mother, for his father was always away on official duty somewhere or the other (and we who had lived in the same apartment since childhood had never met him more than a couple of times) and Manojs’ mother, who herself was a high ranking officer in the central government had through her contacts, fixed up a nice and proper alliance for him- same family status and all. For a change, Manoj seemed to like the girl too which was a rare experience, for he was always dodging the wedding bullet, by asking for time to consider. 

But this time his mother decided not to let him get away that easily and so had arranged an immediate-on the spot engagement at the end of the girl seeing itself and Manoj was caught. He had no advance warning and there looked to be no escape from it or at least for an ordinary person, but this was Manoj and they hadn’t reckoned on his ingenuity. Anyway, Manoj had patiently gone through the engagement as if he was such a dutiful son but had been plotting a mega plan in his mind.

 After the engagement, he had started talking to the girl and somehow they had hit upon mutual friends and all, as both were working for IT companies. Gradually, he had established confidence in her and had started taking her out and as they went out oftener the girl got more and more comfortable with him. And then had come the master-stroke.

He had somehow arranged with the girl to go on a picnic trip to Mahabs stating that a lot of their mutual friends and couples were coming along and the girl had told her parents that she was going on a orientation/bonding trip with her company people on the weekend and then went away with Manoj. 

Once at GRT, Temple Bay, Mahabs he had somehow convinced her that no one else was coming and this was going to be a grand experience -a trip worth remembering all their lives- and she had consented to stay on. They had spent the weekend together having sex and on the way back, in fact just as soon as they had left Mahabs limits, Manoj had used his Brahmastra.

 He had gradually introduced the topic of their future married life and had insisted that she give up her job and stay home and cook for him and his mother. Argument had escalated into a shouting match and she had called him the usual “male Chauvinist pig” and all, which was what Manoj was waiting for. He had driven her to absolutely rage cold-bloodedly (calling her a slut for sleeping with a him before the wedding) till she was foaming at her mouth and just when she looked like assaulting him with deadly weapons (for suggesting that she fall at his feet and beg forgiveness if she wanted the marriage to go ahead) he had dropped her off at her home. 

There had been absolute silence for a week after that, till on the weekend her father had turned up at Manoj’s place. With a sorrowful look on his face he had apologized profusely to Manoj and his mother and had said that he had come to call the marriage off as his daughter absolutely refused to go through with it for reasons she refused to tell. Manojs’ mother had shouted at him for their loss of face in society if the news got out, but he had apologized with tears in his eyes saying his daughter threatened to commit suicide if they went on with further arrangements.

 Manoj stepped in then very graciously and offered to forget everything, for as he put it, what good will a marriage do, if there is no meeting of the hearts and it was better to avoid now itself, all future unpleasantness. The poor man, his ex-father-in-law had gone off pouring out his everlasting gratitude to Manoj and promising him any help he wanted at any time in the future. And Manoj’s mother, to heal his broken heart, had financed him a trip to Thailand to undergo “Naturotherapy”.

“Dude” I just had to ask him “but how were you so sure that she wouldn’t trip you up by telling her parents about your weekend together at Mahabs? That was a damn big risk you took”. Manoj smiled at my naivety and said “For the simple reason that this wasn’t the first trip she gone to Mahabs. She had already been on a company “Family Get-together” couple of times before. She confessed it all to me at the room and I graciously forgave her past remarking that we are here to start a new life and so let the past go- in the mood I was in then, I would have said anything. And so, there was no way later that she was going to snitch on me to her parents”. 

I leant back in my chair and paused to admire him. He had pulled off a difficult one- the old “Use Your Finger to Pock Your Eye” technique. It was an old one, been around for centuries and I thought no one fell for it nowadays, but now and then you do find someone stupid enough to fall for it, huh? Besides it was quite risky, as sometimes it may backfire on you, as another one of my friends, Raj, found out to his cost.

Raj had been quite a player in his time but he tried that same trick one too many time and had got caught. He had taken out a lady friend, when no one was there at his house, for a bonding session and had later tried the old technique to get rid of her. But she, wise woman, had stuck to him like a leech, despite his more and more desperate and frantic stratagems to get rid of her. Nothing worked. She had successfully threatened him with the law and punishment and women’s organizations and Dharnas in front of his house, until his parents to prevent their son from going to jail, had finally got him married at a local temple silently and the lady became his wife.

Raj ended up getting a daily reminder from her at bedtime –of all his attempts to besmirch her reputation every single day of their “happily” married life and was increasingly being driven to desperation until he attended a conference at a different city. There, he happened to meet a few erstwhile college mates of his wife and as they were all discussing what happened to the girl who was such an easy lay during their college says, raj discovered that the woman in discussion was his current wife. 

Greatly relieved and armed with authentic knowledge (and evidence) Raj returned home a new Man, master of his own household and silenced his wife’s attacks on him permanently with his knowledge of her past history. He is back to playing the field again and his wife has now a don’t ask/don’t tell policy regarding his hunts.

Anyhow, Manoj then proposed that we go to a film as he hadn’t seen a Tamil film for a long time. I pointed out that we may not get tickets at this late hour. He waved me off and said that there is a film called Ambuli-3D for which you can walk in and get tickets anytime. So, I wrote down a permission letter for the afternoon and we left for the theatre to catch that movie. As we went out, I asked Manoj whether we should call Bala, but he smiled mischievously and said “its afternoon, I don’t think he will choose to spend his time with us, dude, when the next door auntie, you remember her from the opposite flat?, will be all alone at home” And so we went away. 

Whatever was going to happen at the movie?…..read on in the next part.

How A 3-D Film Ended Up Becoming A 3-X Film _ Part 1– Manoj In Town

(This Post contains Strong and Explicit content and is suitable only for Adult Readers and those above 18+ yrs.....)

Manoj is back in town. This is a warning to all right thinking person’s and a warning not to be taken easily. When Manoj comes back things happen and not ordinary things at that. For those who think I am exaggerating, please read on. I only learnt that he had got back when i got a text message that day from Manoj saying “Back in India”…that made me pause whatever I was doing and start thinking about taking precautions. “Back in India”? I mused, as usual he doesn’t mention from where he was back or how he had arrived. Had he been deported, having overstayed his welcome and had caused chaos and confusion in the visiting country? Escorted up to the tarmac by whatever country’s govt had got hold of him? Put on a nonstop plane and sent home to India? With Manoj that was very real possibility.

 He could make things look so interesting to you that you only realized how idiotic the idea was long after he disappeared having left you to hold the can. It was time to make sure that you emptied your purse of all excess cash and debit cards and hide your passport somewhere (and forget where) because with Manoj around anything could happen. He could convince one that partying in Rio De Janeiro for the weekend would be a good idea and by the way why not touch down in Las Vegas for a day just to have some extra fun on the way to Rio. And you would be standing in the airport buying tickets on the first available plane to Rio via Vegas, having previously emptied your bank account of all your life’s savings, just to have a good time right now, until sense dawns, the spell gets broken and you head home thanking god for the narrow escape you just had. Manoj meanwhile would have just made that plane (even minus any luggage) and would be on his way to Vegas by the time you got back home and unlaced your shoes.

If you really think I am exaggerating Manoj’s many qualities please wait till I describe a small incident which occurred maybe two or three years ago. One night, late night, I got a call on my mobile. After letting in ring on, hoping it would cease by itself, I had to push myself out of the bed to the nearby table where I usually place my mobile at night. Eyes half closed I peered at the phone to see it was Manoj calling me at the unearthly hour of 1:30Am in the night. “What the F**?” I asked in my best unprintable language. Manoj totally unperturbed asked cheerfully “Hi dude, did I wake you up?” I bit back more unprintables and asked “Wassup?” he said “I need a favour dude, a big favour...I need your help right now”. 

I immediately woke up, damn, maybe the guy was in some kind of genuine trouble….”Where are you Manoj? What happened? What do you want?” I asked in a concerned voice. He replied cheerfully “I am parked right below...in the parking lot of our apartment block and I need a special favour from you” I was perplexed for an instant, what was he doing in the underground car park? Had he lost his keys or something and needed a place to crash for the night? His mom would be home as far as I knew and wouldn’t mind opening the door for him however late he turned up- as he usually did… “Dude, are you still there?” he was asking “I need you to come down right now to our parking lot and help me zip up this jeans”…

I thought I had misheard him in my sleepy state “Zip up your jeans? Why should I do it? I don’t get it, we aren’t that kind of friends man…?” Manoj in a unnaturally cheerful voice for that time of the morning replied “Not mine,,, you see there is this girl sitting in the car with me here who works in my company and we were out clubbing earlier tonight at Pasha and she had too much to drink or something and she cant keep her drink and went very tipsy and started acting strange and wanted to leave there immediately- too early to go home you know and so we came out here to our car-park to make out, because our watchman would be asleep and it is safe here- no trouble from police or anything and we were making out for some time now and I got her jeans unbuttoned when we were groping around  but now I am unable to button it back on.” 

I almost screamed “why cant that damn b*** button herself up?” Manoj explained “oh…told you dude…she had too much to drink -she is out for the night, and she is wearing this skinny jean thing..wonder how she got into it earlier on…must have pulled her tummy in and held her breath very tightly or something..otherwise it is so tight- there is a clear 3 inch gap between the stud and the catch” “hold on” I paused him in full flow “what exactly do you want me to come downstairs for?” Manoj in his easy going manner explained “Easy dude, I just want you to push her stomach in and hold it inside, compressing it, while I somehow button up her jean and zip it up..that way I can take her back home and leave her with her parents. Otherwise she will get it hot from her parents if she came home unbuttoned and unzipped. After all,” he said reasonably, “isn’t it fair and just to put back something we have removed? and she is such a nice girl and I don’t want her to get into any trouble and also this way I can also go partingy with her again in the future”

 I must have nodded off again somewhere in the middle of this long explanation and suddenly woke up with  a start when he went silent “ Dude” I said in my most reasonable and adult voice, “My dad would skin me alive if he ever found out I was sneaking out of the house at 2 in the morning just to zip up a girl someone else had unzipped…I just went to sleep half an hour or so ago and have set the alarm to wake me up at 4:30am again to study for an upcoming exam, I am sleepy, I am irritable and I am not an expert on jeans or buttons..so the best thing for you to do would be to call our friend Bala in the third floor, as I recall he is alone at home this week and even if not, he would be glad to volunteer for such an arduous duty, count me out dude, sorry but I am not coming down right now to push some girls stomach in..gotta go to sleep..tell me tomorrow all about it” I said as I cut the connection and went back to sleep. Of course I heard the full story of what happened later on from Bala, but that is for another day.

The point is Manoj was back in town and who knew what he might attempt next? Whatever was going to happen to me when he turned up to meet me…..read on in the next part.