How to lose weight on a diet of Pizza's & Samosa's....My Fitness woes...

Ok, Here is the Good News First... Those Thirty Kilo's I lost over the better part of last year are still not back.. They are keeping their distance staring like hungry wolves itching to get back at me.. But I have not lost anything in recent times- maybe because I am finally indulging my craving for all my self-denial last year?... I must have hit a "Plateau" the size of Tibet as the Weighing Scales resolutely refuse to go down any further - and every little bit of my fat is hanging onto me like needy blood relatives - which in a sense they probably are..

To start from the beginning - for those who came in late and missed the first half:- The hospital where I report for work (occasionally) had bought a new machine - to check whats called the cardio-vascular status - and when I had gone to chat with my friend who was in charge of the ward - he playfully suggested that I inaugrate the machine by getting hooked-up to it first- unofficially, of course. In a rare unguarded moment of weakness I assented and when the results showed on the monitor - I (and my friend), had a nasty shock- my insides were labouring under overloading conditions. Before my friend could offer his expert analysis (and unwanted advice) - I tactfully escaped and went away to brood over it alone like a modern Hamlet - To Do or not to Do?. The conclusions were inescapable - I needed more exercise - my weekly quota of self adminstered hand jobs -did not suffice.

So, over the next few days I started a crash- diet program and went & joined a Gym - Fitness One in Kilpauk - to which I made the customary weekly visit - to console my conscience (still losing sleep over the steep membership fee) that I was in fact exercising... But the semi- starvation diet - water, water and more water - whenever I felt hungry (with occasional gorging on Pizza or Samosa - whenever I relapsed)- seemed to have worked wonders - I was losing the equivalent of 3-4 kilos a month without any heavy physical activity (except using the TV remote). After a few months my gym trainer who attributed all my rapid weight loss to his exceptional training methods - entered my name (without consulting me) into a Triathlon race- involving 3 different events -running, cycling, and cross-trainer - to be done continously on the same day....What? Do I look like a fool?- was my first reaction - but on being assured that I could drop out anytime-I agreed to grace the event with my presence.....

Oh!, If only I had known - the extreme fatigue and pain involved - I wouldnt have gone near the gym even if they had arranged naked cheer-girls for the event. But unfortunately I presented myself for the event - and I was put on a treadmill and told to run. After 3 minutes I was just about ready to give up and go home and take rest for a week - when on the treadmill beside me an old man (40? 45)?) started his run and he gave me a look full of pity at my panting. Now - if there is one thing I hate - it is being patronized - and my blood boiling with rage- I decided to finish the triathlon if it killed me - and it very nearly did too - for in the last event when I felt a twinge near my chest - I imagined having a heart -attack and very nearly fell of the machine. Suffice it to say - that by the time I had finished all three events - I was in a zone of my own - it was like taking half a dozen shots of vodka in one swig. The thing that i had always fantazised about -whenever I read about it - no, not the big "O"- The "Endorphin" thing - thats what had hit me - my brain felt clearer than in years - there were multicoloured lights floating in front of my eyes and I felt like - I was 12 feet tall..

So, like every addict - I kept trying to re-experience that incredible first effect again and again. I ran and ran - joined aerobics classes, then joined dance classes, then did both classes continuosly till I was a walking cripple on my way back home from the gym - to try and experience that endorphin high again. But sorry to say - except for that near-death experience my first time - I have not experienced that Agony & Exstasy again. Meanwhile - my weight kept dropping down until - on New Years Day this Year - I was 30 Kilos lighter compared to last year. And now starts part Two - The Tragedy.

The current rage being " Fab Abs" - I reasoned - now that I was back looking like a member of the human race - why not go the whole hog? and get a, what they call, "A Body to Die For?" So for the past 3 months I have being slogging my butt out in the Gym - lifting big and bigger (impossibly looking) weights- trying to get well proportioned muscles and a chiseled body . I have even joined a kick boxing class to try and lose all my aggro in a non-injurious way - but to no avail. The muscles have not developed - my weight is stubbornly clinging on at current levels- and kicking others in the face is not exactly my idea of fun - I am more the sarcastic remark type. So - I figure my body has at last called a halt to the whole fitness issue and taken a break - maybe I should do so too.......

I am LEGEND - The Barack Obama Story Or Why I would Vote Hillary Clinton in '08

First let me do or give an outright declaration of where my loyalties lie (get the pun?) before assorted loonies of the Far-right (read SS,MNS,BJP etal) or the ridicuolus Left-wing (CPM, CPM-ML, CPI, Arundathi Roy etal) start throwing stones at my house and question my patriotism (Dude, you just can't speak your mind in India nowadays- the country's going to dogs..) I AM INDIAN, I LOVE INDIA, I own an Indian Passport and even though I try to avoid remembering -P.P. (Pratiba Patil ) is my president. Well with that out of the way - let me get back to my post.

Like all educated (and propah) Indians I have been watching the US Presidential Elections with considerable interest from the land of far, far away, viz. India. And the whole Primary thing looks a lot like something scripted in Hollywood land - remember the recent screen-writers strike?- where do you think they went?. The candidates are not only interesting - they are even articulate ( welcome change from Indian politicos). The Bill, Sorry Hillary Clinton Vs. Barack Obama match-up is sure something you can sit down to watch with assorted snacks and pop-corn.

The most recent match-up between the proxy general Bill Clinton and the defender of the hopeful - Obama brought to mind instantly two cult movie characters. Barack Obama - like Will Smith in the movie "I am Legend"- is the eternal optimist; offering himself up (to be eaten) as a sacrifice to all the (ev) ills of society - but I am not sure that it would work against these set of zombies. The Neo-conservatives- read the new mutants- of America are going to be hapy to just gobble him up with no cure being effected. The Republican prty machine would digest him and just go on as if nothing significant occured- America would still remain the land of the walking dead. Instead if you really needed a guy to defend you against flesh eating monsters are you gonna feel happy getting a wise-crackin, hope-spewing nice-guy scientist like Will Smith? Damn you dont.....

You and I would need ( feel a lot safer) - that tough guy, Cigar-chomping, ass-kicker Col.Dutch of the Movie "Predator" ( remeber Arnie Schwarznegger?). That's a MAN you can trust to beat the shit outta Predators, Aliens, Mutants, and assorted evil-doers. BUT, Arnie's not running this time (Run Arnie, Run..) . And thankfully there is a look-alike in the Democractic Party - Senator Hillary Clinton- with the same steely-eyed glint, the "I Know it all" trust me baby confidence, the been there seen it all experience and a truted wise side-kick to boot- the Yoda like Bill Clinton. Ther's a Candidate who can take all that the conservative establishment can dish out and not cry at what could have been. If it all goes wrong- as it sometimes is bound to happen- the free world would be happy to know that the keys of the nuclear briefcase are in the hands of someone who uses more than just intuition to make her/his decisions.

And her's the clincher - the elctability issue. If a woman can survive 30 something years of being married to Bill Clinton - well, she can run rings around, Russia, Iran, Bin Laden and all the rest. And if she feels even half-way exhausted and feels like slacking off - the sight of Bill Clinton hovering over the breakfast table should be enough to fuel all that rage into doing something for the legacy. The USA made a big mistake in '92- electing the wrong Clinton and now its time to correct it.

Especially, when the Republicans have finally turned smart enough to offer up someone like Sen.John McCain - a Detective John McClain (Bruce Willis in Die-Hard) like Character - who keeps fighting and re-inventing himself- every time he runs for President - which is just about every time the elections come or every 4 years -whichever is earlier.

To come back to Obama - he looks a genuinely nice guy, something like a beauty pageant contestant accidentally pitch-forked into a martial-arts tourney. But if he is so touchy -sensy-feely like his wife Michelle says he is (supposed to have threatened that he'd run only this one time) - then he wouldn't last the distance. Voters expect a John Rambo type of Politician - who just takes the time to lick his wounds before coming back again and again. They should want it, really want it -before they get it. After all - it is the top job in a demo-crazy......

3 Interviews in one day and assorted stuff....

The other day I was pleasantly surprised to be interviewed on-camera, and again and again - in fact thrice within the space of one hour. It all started when I had a couple of hours to kill on Friday due to the fact that an official meeting was postponed to 2pm and I was set loose at 12 noon. I had to amuse myself all alone for the next coupla hours- so to pass the time - I took off to one of my favorite haunts- Richie Street- to hunt for mp3 cd's and assorted junk. As I was passing the Konica studio opposite the MLA hostel on Wallaja Road - I felt a sudden urge to have my picture taken. So I parked there and went in a for a photo shoot - for a passport pic. When I came out and was approaching my car - I happened to glance (give the usuaal once-over) at a couple of pretty girls who were doing something bang in the middle of the busy junction. They happened to notice my checking them out too and they rushed upto me with cries of "Sir, Sir, One minute" Ok - I told myself- this is your lucky day. And stopped to enquire "Wassup Ladies?" One of them Set-up a video-cam on a tripod ; another thrust a Mic onto my face and a third one appeared from somewhere to adjust a light-meter and sound a clapper before they turned on the Video-cam and asked me " Sir, we are students from the Asian College of Journalism. We are doing a public survey for a class project. Would you care to comment on the traffic problem in Chennai?" "Of course" I said "how can I refuse to help you out (three pretty girls..). Am I not a public spirited citizen?" So for the next three minutes I spouted all sorts of drivel into the mic- whatever came first into my head. Finishing the interview successfully and wishing them better luck in the future - as they had complained that no one was willing to stop by to talk to them and as this interview was supposed to be part of their final exam presentation - I accepted their heartfelt and gushing "Thank you's" and departed cheerfully to Richie Street.

Out there on Richie Street I was in for another surprise - I spied another bunch of girls with a camera-tripod set-up runing after the busy shoppers with a "Sir, Sir, Excuse me, Sir". Having gone through one such experience recently - I slowed down my walk in their vicinity ( to help them out) and Bang - the Mic was in my Face with a request to help them out in their final exam project. The topic this time was "The role of Public Transport in Chennai" and I consider myself eminently qualified to comment on it - so I let loose my thoughts on running (boarding a moving bus), foot-boarding, bus-day celebrations and most important of all - the vital role public transport corporation buses, especially on some routes like 45B - play in the development of romance among chennai youth....

Moving on from there I crossed onto Mount Road and was passing along near Devi Theatre when I was again accosted by a group of three wtih mic and video in toto. Was it something on my face which marked me out as a great public speaker?- I was tempted to ask them. This time the topic for my talk was on the changing face of Chennai over the past few years. Again a topic I am eminently qualified to talk about. So I let rip.

That was three interviews in the space of one hour (and 9 intro's and mobile no's). But I would love to be there in the Asian College of Jounalism on Exam Day - as the students start showing their final project video's and the same face keeps popping up in presentation after presentation.......These things keep happening to me, I can't guess why...My apologies to you ladies - if you get into any trouble on my behalf- but you asked for it....