Dumped? Here’s How To Get Over It…….
I have heard of March Madness, but
May seems to affect people in Chennai peculiarly too. Is it the hot summer sun
beaming directly on us? The so-called Angi-nakshatram? Whatever it is, i fear
the effect is particularly malefic to relationships for there is a plague of
break-ups all around. Every second blog you read is filled with long execrable
poems to the one who got away, filled with lamentations on fate and vowing to
not forget. And only yesterday a long lost (to contact) friend of mine called
me up and enquired (demanded) why i am not coming to the gym regularly. I told
him that on the few occasions i had been visiting the gym, he was off busy with
this girlfriend and he had no right to take that tone with me. He laughed
maniacally at that and said all that was over now and he was back to exercising
again. When I probed delicately he said his love life was over, his girlfriend
had broken up with him and left with nothing to do he was back to lifting
weights at the gym. A sad and pathetic thing to do, exercise to forget, (as if
a six pack will get back the girl) but not a very uncommon occurrence. But
these people forget that there are lots of other things to do with life than
mourn by writing verses which makes other cringe to read. As a neutral observer
unaffected by all this, I take this opportunity to offer a few words of wisdom
to those who have been recently dumped. Here goes my list of does and don’ts
(follow at own risk).
A List Of Do's...
1) Give
yourself Space...if you have been dumped the first thing to clear your head is
to give yourself space. For accept it, a loss is loss, even if it’s just the
comfort of routine fights that you have lost. Sort through those feelings once,
get rid of them forever and move on instead of hanging back at the same
"loser's" spot. Which brings me to my second piece of advice on
sorting through those feelings, fresh as they are.
2) Let go
of those feelings...Don’t go around toting that heavy emotional baggage from
your failed relationship into your new single life. Most wise men agree that
it's quite common to sweep these emotions under the table, as we may feel we
are not yet ready to face them head-on, but you have to grit your teeth and
work through them or they'll pollute your life from that point on. So go out there
have a beer, have fun, do something prohibited and strut your stuff.
3) Start
liking yourself first...I know it sounds cheesy and new agey, but the fact
remains that many people feel a lot of self-rejection after getting dumped. You
might feel that there must be something wrong with you to have been rejected so
its time to start working on getting back your confidence and faith in
yourself, to shake things up in your life, change the way you have always
been and to try on a new lifestyle. Although in reality you might not be able
to try whatever your fantasy is, there may be other changes to your life that
are very much within your capacity to make. So don't reject the idea of making
any change, just because you can't make every change you wish for. Even if you can’t
become a hotshot pilot, you can at least date an air hostess. That will show
your ex and make you feel all fuzzy inside.
4) Try being alone again...Being
alone doesn't mean isolating yourself and vowing never to have another
relationship again. It just means not being in a rush to fall in love again,
with the next pretty girl who comes along. Enjoy the single life for as long as
it lasts for you might never get a chance again if you do end up getting
married to the next person you fall in love with. So live the king sized
bachelor life today. Go have a kingfisher beer and enjoy life like Sid Mallya
(post DP)
5) Curse and Swear.... I leave you finally with the thought that whatever bad happens in your life- there is always someone else to blame it on and curse and rant. You dont need anyone’s approval for that, so curse on with all the swear words you ever heard in any language. That will help you recover faster than anything else.
And A List Of
Donts...
1) Dont for heaven’s sake dump
your troubles on your friends and force them to go to the gym with you. It’s
you who needs a six pack to attract girls, not your friends- they have other
things like their wits to assist in wooing.
2) Dont dig up old contacts
misusing watsapp and keep pinging them all the time. Wataspp is for posting xxx
jokes anonymously and not for reading instantaneous sob stories.
3) For heaven’s sake don’t lurk
around online waiting for someone to log on to the internet and then bombard
them with messages on face book messenger AND google talk simultaneously. Some
people just log on to check their e-mail, they may not be willing to play agony
aunt in the middle of the working day.
4) Don’t hit on your friend's
girlfriends. Don’t suddenly start noticing all those good qualities which were
missing in your ex. And stop telling your friend how lucky he is - in front of
his girlfriend
5) Finally - Lay off the poetry on
your blog - don’t drive away the few, the dedicated few who turn up there
regularly. Blog about something, anything except relationships and break ups.
Be a man.
And finally, for further
information of what will happen to you if you persist, please watch this video from the Tamil movie
Polladhavan, starring Actors Dhanush and Karunas ….
Speaking of verse, a friend (whom I am sending this link) once wrote a poem that went:
ReplyDeleteBefore I met you, my life was very bitter / Ever since we started talking, it became slightly better."
My suggestion to him was to end the poem with a positive twist:
"Let's meet tonight by the round tana / And discover bliss and nirvana."
The ungrateful fellow didn't talk to me for a week . . .
hahaha..and to think that i now live within walking distance of anna nagar roundtana
DeleteDr Puttu you should be a counseller :)
ReplyDeleteI liked the swear words part, I have done it :)
same pinch then sophie
Delete