The
Curious Case Of The Judge And The Intern.
Disclaimer....Although this looks
like a long post do bear with me and read on for the juicy parts come right
near the end. Releasing for the first time on the Internet the secrets of the
casting couch and candid confessions.
Every evening when i return home
from work i switch on the TV to relax a bit before sleep. I mostly avoid
watching news channels as they tend to be repetitive and loud- all of them
dealing with the same "breaking news" issue and screaming people on
TV is the last thing i want to watch after a stress filled day at work. Last
night I accidentally switched over to an English news channel and as i passed
over all the news channels in rapid succession they were all screaming and
pontificating on the same issue- no, not about Salman Khans miraculous
virginity- the news was about the complaint filed by the former intern of a
retired judge who has accused him of sexually harassing her during the course
of work. As I watched disinterestedly all the media persons were screaming
about stringent punishment for the retired judge for rape which only proves
that the talking heads on national media are poorly educated and cannot
differentiate between workplace harassment, sexual harassment and rape- each
one of which is a completely different issue.
Now, workplace harassment is one
of the most commonest things we face (everyone faces) in employment- - it
includes sadism, favoritism and outright abuse of power sometimes. And the
thing about workplace harassment is you can take it on the chin, bitch about it
and still continue to work there. But sexual harassment is an entirely
different kind of fish. Any sane person’s first response to sexual harassment
at work is to flee from there - career prospects notwithstanding. After all if
you are intelligent and talented and believe in yourself- no single job is
necessary for you to survive - you can always explore alternate options rather
than submit passively to the worst kind of torture. No job is more important
than individual dignity and self respect and sanctity of your own body.
But if you make the choice to
continue in the job despite the harassment then it means only one thing - that
you are willing to compromise for your career. No amount of bleating about it
and complaining later on - in this case after more than two years- is going to
change the fact that at the crunch time- you made the decision to put your
career ahead of your dignity and opted to adjust rather than complain. To
complain later on about rape- when you no longer need that persons help in your
career - is an insult to all those honest women who put their self dignity
above any temporary advantage in their careers and took a principled stand
against harassment. Is an internship which is an unpaid, voluntary, not
explicitly required part of a degree worth all the pawing and fondling for
months together? I just don’t get it- maybe i am a different breed. But who am I
to complain about the farce of it all? The media has decided that the girl is
right to raise it now (after all these years) and the all-powerful media is
never wrong is it? I just hope that real feminists who fight against real
harassment do take note of this. Such selfish behavior is what spoils the
entire fight for justice, doesn’t it?
The reason I am so worked up about
this issue is I had an almost similar experience when I was a young stripling
looking out for some off-college practical training. The medical profession in
India is almost like the Sicilian mafia- you have to be born part of the family
to belong. As a first generation entrant to the profession i found that the
lack of pedigree/influence meant there were no takers for me even when i
volunteered to work for free. Almost all of my course-mates had a family member
(fathers) in the same profession and they just had to pick up a phone and make
a call for their children to win internships. And as an outsider i had to
depend on pure dumb luck to land one. And so when I heard about an opening with
a famous lady surgeon in Anna Nagar, I promptly turned up (at the break of
dawn- early bird gets and all that) to beg for an opportunity to train under
her. The only time she showed any interest in my interview was when i mentioned
that my hobby was dance and I was proficient in salsa and other Latin forms
(remember- I told you this was in long bygone days).
Anyway after assisting her for a
couple of days i had a weird experience on my third day at work. After the work
day was over and all the patients sent home and i had cleaned up and got
everything ready for the next day, my boss who i had assumed would have left
for home by then came back inside the operatory and locking the door behind her
she switched on the music system with a personal CD and then dimming the
lights, started swaying and gyrating in front of me as if in a trance with her
eyes closed and her body moving provocatively. As I stared flabbergasted and
unsure how to react, she moved closer to me and said "you told me you were
a dancer too, come dance with me" and she held out her arms to me.
Orders are orders and when your
boss asks you to hop to it and dance you just dance with no qualms. But i had
not bargained for such an intimate dance as my boss held me close to her and
bumped and grinded her body with mine. Remember that I was barely out of my
teens back then and I didn’t have much of a mental control over my raging
hormones and so I should be excused for the immediate reaction of my body to
this close intimacy with a female body. I was a raging bull in seconds and the
fact that she was actively encouraging what was going on (responding equally)
very nearly made me lose my control and only the sudden remembrance that this
was a woman who was old enough to be my mother brought some much needed sanity
to my hot blood. And in that moment of sudden clarity I thought through what
this meant- I may be an unpaid servant but if I gave into her wishes I would
just be her kept man - the equivalent of a male whore. That sobering thought
cooled me off instantly and I hurriedly disengaged from the salsa embrace and
protesting "Ma'm its very late, I will miss my last bus home" I ran
away from there without a second glance- as if the devil was after me. I never
went back to her after that- even though whenever i pass through Roundtana and
look at the name board of her clinic i sometimes wonder which unfortunate guy
is dancing to her tunes now.
To tell the truth- the casting
couch is not really limited to the film industry. It is quite common in India-
happens in every profession and to everyone- both female and male. It is
sometimes considered as the fastest and easiest route to professional success
and there are people (some few) who actively look forward to persons in power
with a roving eye to notice them and then plan to utilize them as the much
needed elevator while others take the stairs. Sometimes you can’t but wonder
how far you would have come up in life professionally if you had not kept your
zip locked up tightly. And at other times your pride re-asserts itself and you
are glad you didn’t sleep with someone who tried to use you just because they
were in a position to do so. And at such times you can look at yourself in the
mirror with quiet pride- knowing the truth that you never compromised for
anything.
Which is why i say that the time
to protest sexual harassment is the very first time it happens and not years
later. But if you keep quiet, accept things, finish your internship, get the
internship certificate from the very same person, get recommendation letters
from him to prestigious US universities, (as reported in the very same media)
get free admission/fellowship/scholarship from US universities based on those strong
recommendation letters obtained by keeping mum to the harassment and then after
you have used up all he gave you and the old lecher had retired and is no
longer of any benefit to you - to complain then after two or three years means
that you are not really serious about it
and never were. To use a well worn cliché- it’s not Cricket.
So what do you think? do you think
the intern blameless? (Like the media does clearly -for you must have noticed
that not a single media person has asked her about either the delay or those
recommendation letters) Or do you think both of them are equally at fault? One
for exploiting his power and the other for exploiting his weakness? And whoever
is to blame do you think that all this hysterical media-lynching is justified? Doesn’t
the national media have any other worthwhile issue- like the state of the
nation, its economy, the Chinese aggression on the border to report? Why do
they look for soft targets and beat a dead snake? Is this issue worth 24/7
coverage on ALL CHANNELS? Do let me know your thoughts.
very logical..I agree in toto..People who complain after some months, years or even days are not worth it...casting couch is there not because of the people who are exploiting but because of the people who want to rise at any cost..and so they deserve it..whats wrong here..its mutual benefit..channels reat it, not becaus eits important issue but they get their TRPs with such things only...
ReplyDeletethank you Renu for that emphatic agreement......and yes TRP's are the only thing which matter nowadays ..nothing else...but what can ordinary citizens do? except to change the channel?
DeleteWoah, this was shockingly funny.... did you see the movie 'horrible bosses', reminds me of that.
ReplyDeletebut i didn't hire anyone to polish off my boss.....i just ran away....discretion better part of valor?
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