Neighbours Envy & Owners Pride.....

I had this weird experience recently when I was jolted out of my everyday existence by a astonishing new discovery. As the saying goes...you havent seen anything yet. Life will often surprise you when you least expect it to. And I certainly hadn't seen the surprise I ended up with.

To cut a long story short. Those of you who have visited my residence know that my house (apartment) stands on a 20-feet wide street. The house across mine- facing the street had a curiosity value for me, as one of the windows over there overlooked my room's window by a few feet and I could often, hell, practically daily, see someone standing over there at the window- staring straight into the open windows of my room and at yours truly. At first I was a little embarassed and diffident of this constant and overwhelming attention. But later on I figured out that this was the price to pay for my celebrity status.

As time went on I got more and more comfortable with the idea that my across-the street-neighbour- a silhoutte of a good looking women dressed in the latest fashions - was spending an inordinate amount of time peeping at me. And when have I disaapointed an audience? If she wants a show- she will get one,a great one, I vowed to myself. And from then on- I started doing all my exercising- my biceps curls- with the curtain pushed to one side and the window open- in short - in full view of my neighbouring admirer. I am sure that I had done a great public service by pleasing a lonely womans fantasies. Even if she turned out to be a Stalker in the future.

And then recently, I got the shock of my life. My friend - a Gym buddy- dont want to name him, dropped me off home from the gym and then as he was leaving- he remembered that another dear friend of his - a girl he knew from somewhere - lived in the house opposite and he had often picked her up a few years ago when they went out partying together and he wondered if she still was there and decided to look her up again. Naturally I availed of the opportunity offered to accompany him to the Peeping Tom's place and get introduced. I was anticpating seeing the shock and surprise on the lady's face when she saw who it was standing on her doorstep- her secret fantasy- the guy from across the street- the man of her dreams- on her own door-step.

But the one who got all the shock and surprise was me. The person who opened the door for us was a totally different body-type female to what I had expected. She was a podgy, short type with hyperactive expressions, jerking body language and a loud bass voice- definitely not the type to stand silently for hours together at the window admiring the Handsome Hunk across the street (yours truly). After a little small talk - she invited us inside to her room..THAT room...overlooking the road and my room across the street. She said it was her Studio- the place where she worked and got inspiration from. And what do you think was there?

A "Mannequin" for Gods sake. A Goddamned F*** statue- life-like, life size plaster statue of a Female body with the most perfect curves Ever. The woman across the road turned out to be a Fashion Designer who experimented on that life-size feminine mannequin all her recent designs before she shipped them off to the stores. And she had positioned it near the window to catch the natural light effects on her clothes. And I had spent- wasted- all that time doing bicep's curls and Ab crunches....Now tell me if thats fair?

Now.... I keep my window closed all the time....

Oru Sada Dosai Masala Dosai Agiratu- To paraphrase - A Plain Jack turns into Jack the Giant killer

Wow, what a lengthy title for a blog- but its been a long time and you just have to bear with me. To come back to the matter at hand- my last post was about my weight loss methods. I am happy to treport that not only have they worked out better than expected - I am actually finally turning from the "Ugly Duckling" to the "Golden Goose". Ok, Maybe thats a bit of an exaggertion. But what happened is this. All the hard work at the Gym is finally paying off .

Last evening, I happened to run into an old acquaintance - shall we call her S- who i used to date in the bad old days of early 2000's - specifically 2004. She was , to put it mildly astounded and hang mouthed by my new body- she literally couldn't recognize the "New Me" - And I swear I'm not exaggerating. She (Drooling from one corner of the mouth) Told me she wouldn't have recognized me, would have simply passed me by- if I hadn't made the first move by stopping her for old Reminices. And this from a girl who after having eaten three large-sized Popcorns (bought by me) at the premiere of Spiderman (the Original-part 1, circa 2004, - noon show @ Satyam Theatre) had dropped me the next week for a A****. And now she was clearly lusting for me again- And to top it all - all that free food smooched out of various dudes had finally had its effect on her- she had a posterior extending 3-feet away- something resembling the hanging gardens of Babylon. The Wheel - Gentleman and Ladies- Had turned full circle- Now I was the home-coming Queen at the Prom- while she was an also-ran. After a short talk, she had an unusual request for me- she had an enemy at her new office - a colleague who was a bit of a hit with the boys- and she wanted me take down this femme-fatale for her. S. was willing to provide all the dope- all the obvoius pressure points to work on her friend turned competitor for me to have an easygo in the matter. I Respectfully Declined. I'm already having too much fun - hunting down all my old girlfriends to show them what they missed - "the New ME".

And as for a final thought - I'd like to a share a home-truth. For those who say getting a make-over from Fat To Thin- can be a life-altering experience- I beg to differ. Nothing has really changed in my life - except maybe a few of the ladies checking me out discreetly at the Gym- that might be due to pure envy (or to confirm whether its the same guy they saw 6 months back). Life goes on at the same even speed- or maybe its just me- I was cool enough to begin with- you can't make me any cooler...It's Attitude, Dude. Right?