Validating Love And Other Misconceptions.

Validating Love And Other Misconceptions.

Ever since the concept of Valentine’s Day, a day dedicated solely to love, started gaining prominence in our conservative society there has been a lot of hue and cry made over love. There have been anti-love groups, the so called Romeo squads roaming around the cities trying to catch people who are making love to each other in public spaces and in quid pro quo, the mushrooming  pro-love groups who have been trying to reclaim the public spaces for private acts, in this case kissing in public to cock-a-snook at the guardians of public morality who feel threatened by these lewd acts in public to which children might get accidentally exposed and heaven forbid, grow up believing that snogging in public is not anathema in our day to day life. Much as I sympathize with those who have no immediate access to a private space to conduct private business (I wouldn’t call the marina beach entirely private, although it does offer some space) I am forced to agree with the guardians of our morality and say “get a room guys” for some things are just too icky to be done in public- wet slobbering kisses hidden under dupattas for instance.

Which brings me to the primary point of this post- who was the bright spark who decided that love has to be celebrated with kissing? I would understand if valentine’s day was a day declared as a kissing day and then people celebrated it by kissing each other (and random strangers, if permitted) in public like they supposedly do in Central Park, New York (disclaimer: the farthest I have been to is Nanganallur, so I don’t actually have any evidence they do this in New York, just hearsay from click bait news sites). But for a day dedicated to celebrating love, why do you have to validate love by making kissing as a proof of concept? This and other misconceptions on love are what I am going to discuss in my next few thousand words, so if you are already feeling bored, go take a nap and come back for the climax.

In my humble opinion (there- I said it, even though I believe that my opinion is anything but humble) the crux of this entire problem lies in equating love with marriage.  With marriage and its attendant burdens like chastity, fidelity, honesty etc. Love, independent love, is fettered with chains by insisting on it being directed solely with the purpose of gaining or retaining a mate. No longer does our society permit us to love inanimate things (say a Bugatti Veyron) or cross-species love (your favorite pet dog) or even love for nature- when you are captivated by a beautiful sunset and just can’t turn away from the glorious sight of the sun sinking slowly into the sea. But no, those are not claimed as love nowadays, love means solely between man and woman geared towards marriage or sex. 

So let me reiterate my point again –love is different, marriage is different and sex is different. There is absolutely no natural link between these three- each can exist quite well independently. Unfortunately our brains have been so brain washed by society that pure love should end in a wedding that the very definition of love has been split into “pure love” and “impure love”. The one which ends up in shackling two people together in lifelong matrimony is exclusively called pure love while others are termed illegal love. You are supposed to fall in love only once in your lifetime. You are supposed to end up marrying the person you fell in love with. And once when you are in love with someone, you are forbidden to fall in or out of love with anyone else, even accidentally. All these restrictions and rules have been framed to make sure that “love stays pure”. Any deviation from these set rules is immediately classified as crime against society.

All this constant moral harassment by society has made large swathes of our population believe that this is indeed love. Love means writing love letters, sending smiley’s on instant messengers, talking nonsense for hours together, hugging each other, kissing each other, having sex with each other and finally marrying each other. That’s the be-all and end-all of love. And this design includes a happy ending- a love marriage.  All the above related activities- hugging, kissing, sex are considered the perks of love and hence more and more people believe that this is what love is all about. And that’s why they frown on any deviation from the set template –like loving more than one person at the same time or loving one person while having sex with another person etc. all of which are labeled as not pure love. Those who believe in such drivel -that kissing or sex is equal to love will never ever realize what love is all about.

True love, false love, pure love, impure love, legal love, illegal love- so many labels for what is just a simple emotion- an expression of happiness that someone else brings into our lives. In fact, you don’t even need the presence of anyone else to experience love- just your thoughts and memories will suffice- a smile on your face when you can recall that beautiful stranger you bumped into yesterday at the supermarket is also love if you broaden the definition of love. Its love when your dog rushes up to lick your face when you come home at the end of the day. Its love even when you express your love to someone else and they turn you down flat- that single second of suspense when your heart soars high in anticipation- that too is love.  Love is just that- an emotion. Don’t make it into something it is not. Don’t hang too many things on it. Don’t make it mandatory to end up in a wedding for it to be love. Just let it be as it is and leave it to two people to decide how they want it to be.

Finally I would ask you to look up into the sky and tell me what you see- some will see the long dark night sky with its infinite darkness. Some will see the stars twinkling bright- scattered here and there. And some will see the full moon – dominating the dark. Love is like that- for some it’s the darkness, for someone else it’s the stars and for the lucky few it’s the bright silvery moon. Judge not what each person sees- it’s their space so just leave them be. Thanks for a patient reading- that’s if you got up to this point.

Part 2 of The 20/80 Principle- Sex In The City

Part 2 of The 20/80 Principle- Sex In The City

As I said in my last post, the vocal minority of 20% drowns out the rest of the silent majority and in turn the ever sniffing dogs of the yellow media pick up these so called social media influencers rabid and contrarian views and highlight them as the views of the common man everywhere. Case in point- sex. Now I agree that sex sells and the more you write about sex the more eyeball catching it is. But why not write the truth about sex? Won’t that sell too? Why just the sensational stuff which makes a mockery of the real thing is the question on my mind when it comes to the biased media reporting on sex which strives to make us all look like sex crazy maniacs with nothing else on our minds 24/7. This kind of crap reporting on sex has the side effect of making many gullible people to believe in these lies and half truths which the media propagates and disperse them to others as gospel truth and worse to practice it in their everyday life. Case in point- a friend of mine who ogles at every passing female and her body parts- legs, buttocks cleavage it matters not. When I questioned him whether he really felt a necessity to lust after every single random female who passes us, he gave me a honest to god explanation on how it was necessary to keep in touch with your sexual side by craving for sex all the time otherwise, and I am quoting directly here, if you are too good a person and don’t lust after sex, how will you satisfy your wife after marriage?. And this is precisely the point I am trying to make here.

This insistence by the mainstream yellow media for the past several years that Indian wives (leave alone house wives) are not satisfied in sex by their husbands but are indeed looking to have affairs and orgasms with other men is the very raison d’être of this post.  Indian women or just women in general are not such sex starved persons as depicted by the media. Women don’t choose to have affairs just to orgasm- there are lots of other factors involved when a woman chooses to cheat on her lawfully wedded spouse.  And this constant sniping at male’s confidence in the guise of how will you satisfy your wife after marriage, leads to more questions than answers in the average male mind and is directly responsible for licentiousness behaviors like ogling, catcalling or even rape just so a man learns how to satisfy a woman, any woman, even if she is a total stranger and is not willing to indulge in intercourse with him. This constant sniping at fragile male ego’s, this undermining of male confidence has only resulted in longer queues in divorce courts. It has not taught the male that women need more than multiple orgasms and night long intercourse to be satisfied with marriage.

Satisfying a woman via sex is just an urban myth, something like buying your wife or girlfriend diamonds to apologize or whisking away to Bali islands if your forgot her birthday. All these are the works of marketing gurus and creative minds at ad agencies who are trying to hard sell sex to the more mundane minded average Indian male or female partner. Collateral damage to these “profit alone” minded marketing geniuses are the irreversible damage to society and marriages caused by the gullible believing that their wives are indeed sex craved and need to be satisfied constantly and so let’s start learning on the streets with other women- any random woman in a vulnerable place to be exploited.

So to come back to my original premise, the title of this post- just as all men are not rapists, likewise all women are not sex crazy nymphos  as made out in posts by prominent social media experts and picked and highlighted by mainstream media as indicative of women’s mindset. If you talk to a regular average woman, as I have done repeatedly, they are more worried about more mundane things like work, peer pressure, office politics, compensation packages, misunderstanding with family members etc. They seek more supportive spouses who would help them achieve more at work than look for husbands who can “satisfy” them in intercourse. Sex is secondary to everyday life concerns in total contrast to what the vocal minority bleat about on media.

So let’s totally disregard these keyboard warriors who constantly seem to set the agenda for everyone else and give due credence to the real aam admi or aurat who may not air their views on sex in public but know what they want and know what’s important and what’s not for a happy married life in the real world. Sexual deprivation is overrated and is only media overkill. Everyone is getting enough sex even if they don’t talk about it or even think about it. The only ones deprived are the depraved and there is no solution for them except to snatch away their keyboards and smart phones and ask them to look at the real world all around them. And to shut the hell up and not speak for everyone else. 

The Happy Barter Technique Of A Successful Married Life

 The Happy Barter Technique Of A Successful Married Life.

So I often find myself in the incredible position of having the “sex talk” with adults (who should know better) far many more times than I like to. For someone who rarely gets to have sex it’s so hard to understand how I find myself in this position of giving advice on hmmmm…positions and what not. I mean if you ask me flat out what makes me such an expert on sex (other than the fact that I am hung up so large?) I would just have to shake my head and say I don’t know- you just have to ask those poor mutts who keep consulting me for counseling. Anyways to get back to the story at hand – a couple days ago this guy who is a recent acquaintance walks into the room and sinking down comfy on the sofa says he is fed up of his wife and plans to divorce her. When I probed gently as to why he became so fed up of the wifey he confessed that lately everything at home felt strange, foreign and like a mall...I kid you not ladies and gents- he used the term “like a mall”….

Now this could not go unopposed- despite my better sense telling me not to probe further and get told another unwanted sob story I asked him to elaborate the meaning of the mall. He said “you know “the buy me this or buy me that” if you want to have sex tonight thing”. I demurely shook my head and said “I don’t...know I mean, anyway don’t tell me you didn’t buy gifts for her while you were courting, a mobile phone for a kiss, stuff like that which fool men in love do”. He grinned sheepishly and said “yeah, but that was then, this is now. Back then I was a carefree bachelor, now I have to support a family- wife and kids you know, school fees, uniforms, books, tuitions and all that and in addition to all that- paying money for sex every time sticks in my craw, I mean its not cheap- even if its at home”. I nodded wisely- “yes of course it’s not cheap- if you want to do it every night, so why don’t you just stick to salary nights, you know, the way they show in Tamil films- the salary cover, jasmine flower, tirunelvi alwa thingy?” 

He looked at me as if I couldn’t grasp his internal anguish at all and said – “but then what’s the point of being married? If you cant have it as often as you want? And have to pay for it every time?” I shook my head sagely and said – “ha, ha that’s where you are wrong- marriage is not a license for just sex- there are a lot more stuff involved. And it’s a fact of life that you – the man has to pay for sex every time- accept it -it will make your life easier in the long run. By the bye an unmarried man can pay for sex with different persons every time- a married man has to by default pay for sex with the same woman every time- that how society has evolved from the apes to humans as a civilization. One way or the other we all have to pay for sex- so stop cribbing about it and go home to your wife. And here – I will forward you this sms I received from an unknown benefactor who promises to give personal loan of 10 lakhs without any collateral. Do talk to them and get the amount- should suffice you for sex with your wife for the next ten years. And after that, who knows? Let’s hope she gives you something free and extra- as customer loyalty bonus. Best of luck dude”. With which I ended the lecture and showed him the way back to the bosom of his….errr…loving family.

P.S. if any of you ladies who are reading this get incensed at me for writing this candid expose, please put your hand over your heart and ask yourself if you have ever, never used the “withholding sex technique” to get something else from your hubby dearest? If not- I salute you. If yes- It’s all in the family, right?

Café, Coffee and Sex- An Erotic Short Story

Disclaimer: This Post was written for a friend who was raving about the Fifty Shades of Grey books and how they defined erotica for her. I wrote this just to prove a point- the point being that fifty shades is in no way a great example of the fine art of erotica and I could write better with my eyes blindfolded. So I leave it you readers to judge whether I can indeed write Erotica or not. As always this post contains explicit sexual description, full frontal nudity and heavy sex acts and hence not suitable for anyone under 18 years- reader’s discretion advised…

Café, Coffee and Sex- An Erotic Short Story

He was pissed off. She should have been here by now, however bad the traffic was. She wasn’t. So that meant she had stood him up and also maybe found someone else. An entire day ruined, especially this day of all days- Valentine’s day, when he should be with someone or anyone instead of alone. It was too late to go find if anyone else was free. Unless. Unless he could find that someone else here itself. Controlling his irritation at having been stood up, he took a few deep breaths and cast a practiced eye over the other patrons of the coffee bar. There. That one looked good to go. She was not too young, but still good looking. And she was fidgeting around with her tablet while she kept glancing alternatively at her watch and the entrance to the coffee bar. She should do he thought as he left his un-tasted coffee at the table and getting up sauntered nonchalantly over to her table. He stood beside her table for a minute, eyes boring into her until she looked up startled and almost dropped the tablet she was holding in her hand. Satisfied that he had got her attention he put a hand on the table and gracefully swivel-dropped into the seat opposite her. Surprise was etched in every line of her face as she stared mouth open at this imperious stranger who intruded on her privacy. “Mind if I join you for a cup of coffee?” he asked as he stared back into her eyes with an intensity to match her stare. “Hell yes, I mind very much. Go sit somewhere else. Don’t disturb me or” she didn’t finish as he signaled the waiter to come over with a wave. “One Irish for me” he said giving the waiter a knowing look and “refill for madam whatever she is having”. She was flabbergasted at the nerve of the man “no thanks, I am fine, I don’t want you to get me anything. Look, this is harassment. Please leave before I call the security. I don’t want to make a scene here” even as she was saying this he cut her of mid sentence and “And you won’t. Won’t make a scene, that is” he assured her as if he knew somehow. She went on as if she hadn't heard him, for two can play at this game she felt “look there, there are plenty of other free tables. This is a private table I am waiting for someone”. And he smoothly stepped in “and been waiting long enough for someone who is not going to turn up and why are we even discussing this now? The absent people of our lives. Haven’t we got anything better to talk about? Like us?” he asked as the waiter stepped in smartly between them to pour their respective orders.

She let the waiter leave before she started talking again and that surprised her. If she really had been serious about having the guy evicted from her table she could have just asked the waiter to help. But she hadn't. And why was that? She asked herself. Something about the cool confidence of the man opposite had unsettled her. With not a little surprise she realized that her heart was mildly pounding inside her chest with excitement. She had resigned herself to disappointment when her soon-to-be-ex husband hadn’t turned up with the divorce papers. But that was so typical of the man. He was never on time for anything. Even for his wedding bed. But this man, the man opposite her, a cool customer if ever there was one, was promising to make her evening different. With a small shudder of excitement she found herself drinking the coffee he had ordered for her and checking him out over the rim of the cup. 

When he felt that cool appraisal, he knew he had won. The balance had shifted decisively to his side. He knew now that she would not ask him to leave. And he knew too that when he left later on, she would be leaving with him. He knew that. And he knew that she knew it too, at some level, even if she didn’t acknowledge it   to herself. Well, the evening was not such a waste after all, he thought, as he let her sip the coffee and look him over in silence. The bitch who had stood him up would have taken more of his time and effort- the usual three ring dating circus- an hour talking her up over coffee, and hour feeding her over dinner, and an hour getting her drunk at some night club before he could get inside her panties. But this was woman looked someone who knew her way around. He was sure that he could cut off the entire circus and get right to the chase with this one. If he didn’t muff up after this, and he was pretty damn sure that he wouldn’t, then maybe inside of an hour he would be buried deep inside the woman opposite him, the one staring at him and waiting for him to give her more rough treatment.

“So?” he asked her and dragged that word for a few seconds more than necessary “are we gonna sit here all evening slurping coffee? Or are we gonna move on to bigger and better things?” he asked as he gave her a lopsided mischievous grin “things like having dinner?” he signaled at the same time to the waiter and silently mouthed bill towards him. As the waiter hurried on to get them their bill, she felt that she should assert herself at this juncture at least, as she didn’t want to be thought too easy a pickup, although some part of her inside was salivating at this description of the bigger and better things promised to her that evening. “And what if I have plans otherwise?” she asked in what she hoped was a nonchalant voice. But he wasn’t fooled she could see. He stared wordlessly at her a few seconds and she squirmed at that close and penetrating stare, a stare which started at her eyes and penetrated to the depths of her soul. And then he said “but we will change them wont we? Whatever other plans we have? We have more important things to do now” with a big stress on the “do”. And as she heard that she felt her mouth go dry. This is it. She thought. Crunch time. She now knew what he was after. What the evening promised. She could pick up her bag and walk out now and save herself further complications. Or she could go with the flow and end up in this stranger’s bed. But she had to decide now. 

And even as she was thinking this over, she saw that he had paid off the bill and was standing beside her waiting expectantly, looking down at her cleavage with a hunger which frightened her and oddly felt exhilarating too. She could feel a hot burning glow spread warmth over her entire body as he effortlessly hauled her on to her feet and with a proprietary hand placed on the small of her back, guided her between the tables towards the entrance and beyond to the car park. When he got to the car park, he purposefully walked her unto his car without taking his hand off her back the entire way. He knew that his victory hung by a small thread and any lessening of the intensity and she might revert to her senses. He had to attain complete mastery over her, here and now, and then he could relax. And what better place to do that than his car. Thank god, he had had the good sense to bring his bigger vehicle, the Honda SUV tonight. Of course, he had known this evening would end with sex even as he had left his house earlier. But he had thought it would be the hot girl he was chasing after and wrangled a date with earlier. But not this sudden treat with this exotic stranger. He opened the door and gestured her to get inside and without pausing to see if she did get in or not , he walked over around the vehicle and got in on the driver’s side. There. She was in and seated demurely beside him. Round one, for the men’s team he exulted. He turned halfway towards her and ran a finger down her face starting from her forehead lightly trailing his index finger and increasing the pressure as he passed her ear, right down to her jaw line and her upper neck and back again to the corner of her mouth. And then, he slowly inserted his finger into her mouth past her compressed lips. Just a little way in and he waited. She licked it tentatively at first with small flicks of her tongue and then as she started to roll her tongue on it and suck, he pulled it out abruptly with a moan she let it go and looked at him accusingly. “Not here” he said pointing at the security guard watching from a distance “let’s go somewhere else” he said softly. “Where?” she asked him with a sudden impatience which surprised her but not much as her surprise to realize that she was soaking wet down there and he had not even begun. He smiled at her and asked “does it matter as long as it’s private?” she gritted her teeth as she said “not far away then, my cars still parked here, I have to come back” he grinned savagely at that and said “don’t worry I will make sure that you come” he paused and said “back. But tell me, how about lovers lane?” she shook her head with obvious irritation, “too early,  it doesn’t attract a crowd till later on, and from here you can get there in 15 mins, you just have to cross nungambakam and then the chetput bridge and we would be almost the only car parked there if we go n..” she was hurled back into her seat as he savagely pulled out of the parking lot with burning rubber and a sharp turn and headed into prime time mount road traffic “I just know right the spot, near to here, private and kinky as hell, I know you will enjoy doing it there” and ten minutes later they were parked in the rooftop parking terrace of the biggest multiplex in town. 

The movie going crowd had all disappeared inside an hour ago and would not reappear for at least two more hours, which should be plenty of time for what he had in mind. It was just about turning dark but from where they were, they could still see the river cooum down below or the spires of Loyola college in the near distance. That is, if they had been looking out, but they weren’t. They were looking at each other like savage beasts ready to tear at each other’s throats and eat up raw. When the moment for lust arrives, we are stripped down to bare essentials, the animal spirit overriding the veneer of humanity. He looked at her and she looked at him and it was getting steamy in there. She couldn’t stand it any longer and made a move towards him then, but her caught her hand and held it off with immense strength “hold it, let me check something he said and reaching back he pulled out his wallet looked in and then brought out a condom “there” he said with quite satisfaction “now you are safe” . She shrugged and said “I don’t mind either way” he looked surprised “really?”   And she murmured “yes, I pretty much know when not to”. With a sudden jerk which surprised her, she found that her seat had been reclined back, and he was bending over her, even before she could recover from her surprise. He pushed her hair back from her forehead and started kissing her at the temples and then as he went down her face, following her hair line right up to her ears, his tongue flicking in and out making little licks she again brought her hand up to his head and moved her fingers into his hair. By then he his tongue was doing all sort of things inside her ear and she gave a little moan of pleasure as he lightly bit her earlobe and teased it with his teeth pulling on it. As she turned her face towards him to get that probing tongue into her mouth, he again surprised her by firmly turning her face away from him With practiced ease his tongue went behind to her neck  to the spot where her hairline ended and he gently pulled on and teased the skin there with his teeth. She found herself shivering with the unexpected sensations his teeth and tongue where having on her hitherto unexplored pleasure spots. No one else had gone where this man was going and nothing she had ever experienced could match what she was feeling now. She found her palms clenched tightly and hurting her even as he alternately licked, bit and suck all over her neck and collar. Too much, too soon she thought as she felt the familiar tingling coming on. She couldn’t take it any longer but let go of her control, as her body spasmed suddenly, her eyes clenched tight and she felt her entire frame shake with orgasmic bliss and she screamed aloud, even over the soundproofed car windows and the music player turned on.

When she recovered after what must have been a few seconds but felt like hours to her, she found that she had been turned towards the guy beside her, who was looking at her with a sardonic smile, “thank god, they have a horror film running tonight” was all he managed to say as she savagely hooked her fingers in his head and brought his lips down to her. So you want to play rough baby? Let’s see how tough you are he thought as he crushed her mouth with his and brought his tongue into play. As his tongue moved deeper inside her mouth he was surprised to taste a little saltiness, she must have bitten her tongue in her orgasm and was bleeding he decided, so he started to suck a little and then harder and harder on her tongue as she gagged with fright and  tried to pull back to get her breath. But he held on and on until he could see panic in her eyes and then wrenched back his mouth and tongue suddenly out of her as she gulped in air in large ragged breaths. As she recovered her breath, he suddenly bent down and inserting his hands inside her LBD, he tugged at the waist band of that execrable piece of garment called leggings which some women wear (under their dresses) to cover up their long and shapely legs. With one smooth roll of his wrists, he brought it down and she wriggled her bottom up for him to pull it off her completely and he draped it on the gear box between them. When she made a move to get up and help him unzip her dress in the back he firmly pushed her back into her seat and said “honey, that won’t be necessary, I have ways of getting inside there, which do not require you to make a move, just lie back and watch me” and he slowly slid her dress up to her waist and hooking both fingers at the sides of her panties he brought it down her legs and off her ankles and bunching them up he placed them on the dashboard right over his GPS unit. 

She meanwhile, found to her complete surprise, her hands on his pants, unbuttoning his pants, then unzipping his fly and slipping inside, way inside till she felt him. He gave a gasp then as he felt her firmly clench him and pull him out. As she clenched and unclenched her hand tightly squeezing him and felt him growing stronger in her hands she asked “you are ready?”  More a statement than a question as she held the answer to it in her hands. He grinned at her then and said “I was born ready” and even before the words were out, she took him inside her. Even as he entered her he moaned for he hadn’t expected her to be so tight and so hot and so wet that he felt he was about to explode right then inside. He eased off her again slowly, right back the way he had come and holding himself again at the entrance, he bit his teeth, clenched his jaws and willed himself to hold on to relax and not to turn a marathon into a sprint and finally as he calmed he settled down into a ready rhythm. And then there was bliss.

As she got out of his car and was about to walk away she turned to look at him one last time and asked I don’t even know your name?” he smiled at that and said “I am fine with the name you called me at the end”. She smiled in her turn and walked over to her care, got in started it and pulled out of the coffee shop parking. As she passed his waiting car she rolled down her window and mouthed in a whisper “Savage”. And with a last smile she was gone.