Thanks
For Asking But I Am Busy
Have you ever gritted your teeth
to avoid screaming at someone trying to help you? If you have ever had such a
trying experience, then you would sympathize with what I went through this
morning. There I was standing at the bus stop, minding my own business and
waiting for the right bus to come, when almost half the population in the city
turns up to offer me a lift somewhere. I mean, I never knew till today that
there were so many good people with their own vehicles willing to help others
or that a majority of them were in my friends list and were pained to see me
waiting for a bus.
Despite my best efforts at hiding
behind other passengers who were waiting at the bus stop, which given my size
an act of not much use but done in pure desperation, person after person after
person was invariably stopping their vehicles and cheerfully asking me to
"Get in and I will drop you wherever you want to go". While they
waited expectantly (engines running) for me to hop on behind them or beside
them, I was grinding my teeth in frustration at their refusal to take a no for
an answer. My frustration was due in part to the reason that people fail to
understand the simple logic that if someone says no for the first half a dozen
times, it’s just not because he is shy but there is some other reason he couldn’t
say aloud right then (in public) and hence wouldn't change his mind even if he
should be asked again another half dozen times.
But my good natured friends never
gave up on me and never ceased coming to my help. Every minute or so one of
them passing by would spot me, brake
abruptly (with a loud screech) in the middle of the road and spend the next
five minutes or so coaxing and cajoling me to along go with them in their
vehicle, while I kept protesting vehemently that no, no it wasn’t a bother at
all and I didn’t want to unnecessarily disturb them, that I would not mind
taking the bus which was to come pretty soon and for which I had made such an
effort to be there- waking up at dawn and hurrying to the bus stop.
I further pleaded with them if
they didn’t leave right away I would feel guilty all day for delaying them from
their urgent work or wherever they were going to in a hurry, at which they
cheerfully declared that they had no urgent work right then but would happily
take the time to take me to wherever i wanted to go. I could appreciate the
depth of their feelings for me and had to curse my own popularity and on
another day I would have just give in and gone away with them merely to avoid
becoming a public spectacle on the bus stand attracting the attention of
everyone standing around and wondering why i was so insistent on going by that
particular bus. But that is another
story- the reason for why I have now come to love traveling by public
transport.
Anyway, after numerous denials and
declarations of my comfort in traveling by bus, my far too helpful friends
allowed me to board the bus which at last came into view. As i hung on to the
foot board of the overcrowded bus, holding on tightly to the door frame with my
fingertips to avoid becoming the next day’s news headlines, I couldn’t help but
feel totally exhausted (mentally) after all those arguments with all those well
wishers of mine. And I wondered wistfully if maybe I had been too subtle in my
denials and did not pass the message on clearly and was in some way responsible
for people assuming that I was just playing coy and hard to get.
Or is it the other way around?
That people just can’t take a hint? Being good naturedly helpful is one thing
but persisting beyond all limits and denials to offer help is going a bit
beyond the call of duty isn’t it? Is this what’s called killing by kindness?
Smothering with affection? I confess that i am continuously surprised by the depths
to which my friends go for me (lucky aint I?) - Even if completely unnecessary.
I understand even if I can’t appreciate. And I just can’t get angry at them for
that, can I? Intentions excuse actions, right? Or not?
Achha, did you find someone else other than the Guy de Maupassant-girl? Well, I'm sure you have someone otherwise why would you refuse the comfort of travelling in a cushioned air-con car rather than the crowded and smelly government buses.
ReplyDeleteWaiting to read more.
Joy always,
Susan
hmmmm.....i am the if at first you dont succeed, try, try, try again type Susan....so yes i i consider traveling by the bus an Action/Adventure movie with a bit of romance thrown in....
DeleteYou are one lucky guy.. imagine so many people wanting to give you a lift.. but what was the reason you declined? Waiting to board a bus on the foot board so you could meet someone :interesting" inside :) ?? But on a more serious note, in India people do not take refusals seriously because one is expected to decline when offered something - remember how your mother must have taught you as a kid to say "No" when offered something to eat at a neighbor's house? And even if you did take something that second helping was always a "no, no" !!
ReplyDeleteAbsolutely true Meera, culturally we are a nation which takes "no" for just a delayed "yes" and people think they can get over any inhibitions with time and effort....and on a lighter note- well its pretty obvious isnt it? the answer to your question: oh yeah......
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