Showing posts with label unintentional humor. Show all posts
Showing posts with label unintentional humor. Show all posts

Monday, December 29, 2014

Lost in Translation

Lost in Translation



So I continue to be amazed by the responses I get from the bunch of students I am trying (mostly unsuccessfully) as it turns out to teach the basics of surgery. So this happened last week

Student: Sirrrrr (in a loud panic stricken voice)…this patient is bleeding.

Me : hmmmm, ok, when you cut into  human flesh with a sharp pointy thingy, you expect to see a little blood missy, you should only call me when you see no blood coming out when you cut in, then I will come running with a crucifix or stake.

Student : Blank Look

Me…Should can the vampire/zombie references, poor students musta been studying so hard they don’t watch twilight or go Goa gone.


And again this happened this week.

Student : Sir how can I treat this patient, he is already very sick.

Me : Ok then we should chase away the sick patients and treat healthy people only. Why don’t you go out into the corridor and drag in one of the patients attenders, they should be healthy enough for you to treat.

Student : Blank Look

Me : Sarcasm is so lost on this modern generation.

End result is I realize that they would rather do anything, cook up any excuse just to get out of seeing a patient that they have have been allotted to treat and would instead prefer treating only those patients they find interesting or easy to manage. But how will they ever learn if they don’t tackle the difficult patients now with us there to guide them and prevent any mishaps? Or maybe I am too severe on them and expect higher standards than they are used to? Beats me.


P.s. Just wondering if its true about what they say- that those who cant do, teach. Maybe I am the opposite type, can do but cant teach?

Thursday, June 19, 2014

No Shame In Saying I Don’t Know, Is There?



No Shame In Saying I Don’t Know, Is There?



So they called me today all of a sudden in the middle of my canteen break (for those of my readers from countries which were never under the shadow of the British Empire – a canteen break is a midmorning visit to the in-house cafeteria – say around 11am- for a coffee/tea) with an emergency call and unlooked for appearance of a postgraduate student standing beside my cafeteria table, staring morosely down at my tea before saying “they want you back at the department sir, something not right with the laser”.

So I leave my half drunk tea on the canteen table with a look of longing and hurry back to the surgery room screaming “What? What? What? What happened?” to find the two guilty persons who tried to use the laser unit in my absence (temporary/tea break) adopting an unconcerned “we are not responsible” look. Seems they had tried to do a case (a surgery) all by themselves and the laser had malfunctioned and they tried to lay the blame solely on me saying that “you were the last person to use it” to which I replied irritably “yeah and I left it in good working condition just a few minutes ago”. For I knew they were trying to pin the blame of the malfunctioning unit on me and try to appropriate my next month’s salary towards repairs for the at-fault laser unit- on the principle that the last person gets blamed and foots the bill. 

So I went up to the unit and checked it and found it was working fine. Surprised I asked them to demo to me what they were doing with the laser. So they sat there the two of them and applied the laser to the anesthetized patient and waited for it to start cutting and then after a few minutes they turned towards me and said “See, its not cutting”. Whereupon I asked one of them to vacate the seat and sat down took the laser in my hand put it near the surgical site, operated the foot switch, cut the tissue and showed them “see, it works now, by magic”. The poor fools had not realized that the laser operated with a foot switch which they had comfortably left all alone between the two of them and neither of them operating it and they had thought that you just need to point a laser at something for it to start working. And of course they had thought they could do it in my absence in the mistaken belief that what he does we can do too- without learning at least the basic functions of the machine. 

Which shows once again that people would pretend anything except to accept their ignorance of something. I hope they all realize soon that it’s never too late or too much to ask for help and its definitely no shame to say those three magic words “I don’t know”.

Wednesday, February 19, 2014

பசங்க பசங்க தான்




பசங்க பசங்க தான்



கடந்த மூன்று நாட்களாக நான் சென்னை அரசு பள்ளிக்கூடங்களில் ஸ்க்ரீன்நிங் கேம்ப் எனும் தடுப்பு முகாம்களில் கலந்துகொண்டு அப்பள்ளியில் படிக்கும் குழந்தைகளுடன் காலம் கழித்து கொண்டிருக்கிறேன். அங்கு நடந்த ஒரு சில சம்பாஷணைகள் உங்களுடன் பகிர்ந்து கொள்ளலாம் என்று இதை எழுதுகிறேன்.


பையன் 1.    

நான்: டேய் நீ வளர்ந்து பெரிய ஆள் ஆனதும் என்ன ஆகணும்னு நெனைக்கற?

ஏழு வயது பையன் : அண்ணா நான் பெரிய டான்சர் ஆக நினைக்கிறேன்.

நான்: ஏன்டா, நீ படிச்சு டாக்டர் இல்லை என்ஜின்னிர் ஆகணும்ன்னு ஆசை இல்லையா?

பையன்: அது எல்லாம் கஷ்டம்ன்னா. நல்லா டான்ஸ் அடினா மாணாட மயிலாட நிகழ்ச்சி’ல ஆடி உடனே பெரிய ஆள் ஆகிடலாம்.

நான் : அடப்பாவிகளா. டிவி எப்படி எல்லாம் மக்கள்’ல கெடுக்குது. 

     
                                      
பையன் 2.

நான் : என்னப்பா பண்ணுது உனக்கு?

பையன் : என் வயித்துல நாக பூச்சி இருக்கு ஸார்.

நான் : அது எப்படி டா உனக்கு தெரியும்?

பையன்: அப்போப்போ அது என் வயத்துல படம் எடுத்து ஆடி புஸ்ஸு புஸ்ஸு’ங்குது.

நான் : அடேங்....



பையன் 3.

நான்: டேய் கால்’ல என்னடா அடி?

பையன் : எங்கம்மா கரண்டியில்ல அடிச்சுட்டுடா டாக்டர்.

நான் : ஏன்டா? நீ என்ன பண்ண இப்படி அடிச்சு இருகாங்க?

பையன் : நான் தான் ஒரு பெரிய கல்லு அடிச்சு அவ மண்டைய ஒடசிட்டேனே. அதான் அவ திருப்பி அடிச்சா.

நான் : எப்பா நீ கொஞ்சம் தள்ளியே உட்காருப்பா.



இது ஒரு சாம்பிள்தான். இந்த மாதிரி நாள் பூரா என்னை சிரிக்க வெச்சுக்கிட்டாந்தாங்க. ஒரு பத்து வயசு கொறஞ்சது மாதிரியே இருக்கு எனக்கு. பசங்க பசங்க தான்.