Wednesday, April 1, 2020

Alien Invasion


1.-The Invasion
The Red Martians had been preparing for some time for final launch. Their technology level was at using fission rockets which meant a one-way trip mostly, unless they could find fissionable materials on the invaded planet, enough to power them back to their home planet if they so desired. But that was a long way away in the future. The invasion fleet would have to subjugate the native populations, eradicate the dominant species on the planet and then with or without using collaborators find out and mine sufficient fissionable materials to enable the fleet to go back and bring the second wave. For this was just the first wave, half the population of mars, the strongest most warlike population to be sure and the most virile to go and not only colonize the blue planet quickly but to multiply in its slightly heavier oxygen atmosphere that no other neighbouring planetary species in the solar system would dare to invade the third planet once the red Martians had obtained a solid foothold on it. The red Martians had prepared long and carefully for this invasion, it had taken decades of their life ever since the stupid earthlings had started broadcasting into space that their planet was capable of supporting life. The Martians couldn’t believe it at first. Was this all a ruse? If so for what purpose? Were the earthlings so starved of nutrition that they were willing to attract other planetary species to their home world to feed on them? None of it made sense. Even their best scientific minds couldn’t understand why the earthlings were broadcasting so many signals into space. It was unprecedented in the Martians millennium of existence and induced acute anxiety in their leaders. Ever since the dawn of life in the nine planet solar system, none of the populated planets, neither Venus, nor Mars, Jupiter, Saturn, Uranus or Neptune had ever broadcast into space that “Hey, here are life giving planets and we have evolved life here, you are welcome to come here and take it”. None, but the stupid earthlings had done so. Signalled to the entire universe that there were life supporting planets in the 9-planet solar system capable of providing organic nutrients. It was either stupidity of the highest order or sheer recklessness on the part of the blue planetary species to endanger life in the entire known solar system. Every other species had hunkered down into the deep dark soil of its planet projecting a complete lack of life to every explorer and invader (mostly the same thing), once it was capable of space flight and had communicated with the nearest planetary lifeforms and had learned the truth of the universe. That the universe was a whole lot of scary species always looking for new planets to colonize and species to devour for their organic contents was a universal truth known to every species on every planet on every star and galaxy. Everyone realized this truth to be self-evident once they started lifting off from their planet’s gravity well. Except the earthlings. They were a whole lot of stupid apparently. Not only had they continued to broadcast their location to the wide universe but also had sent probes outside the limits of the solar system with information leading straight back to the nine planets. This was a genocidal war crime on a solar system level and the blue planet earthlings had to be punished for it and stopped before they did further damage to the rest of the species. The Jovian’s and Neptunian’s had proposed an asteroid strike to obliterate the third planet and silence those voices seeking to expose them all. But the red Martians had proposed an alternate- a planetary invasion to eradicate the loathsome bipedal species which was even now launching chemical rockets into deep space with long plume signatures capable of being traced back to source. It not only helped that they were the nearest planet to the earth, but also capable of surviving in the open on the slightly more oxygen rich atmosphere of earth, which the Venusians can never do and finally to add icing to the cake the Martians could use their feeding appendages directly on the earth species which conveniently carried a nutrient fluid in their bodies, a red fluid which could be fed on and absorbed directly by the Martians for their organic nutrients. The Martians had been taking off a few earth species for decades and studying them for absorption of their nutrient fluids and had found that the earthlings were not only compatible with the Martian diet but also provided a rich source of all the other minerals needed along with the organics. Hence the fleet was got ready to invade the earth and save the solar system by silencing once and for all those pestilent squealers threatening all nine planetary species.
2.  – The Aftermath
When the first Martian saucers landed it was near to the great urban settlements intentionally. The Martians had planned and prepared for the initial resistance to be stiff, even with the primitive kinetic weapons of the earthling’s and the Martian ground assault tripods had their armour specially strengthened to deflect kinetic weapons. The saucers landed and disgorged the tripods on a fine sunny day and the Martians rambled into the vast urban conglomerations the native earthlings called cities. They were prepared to encounter shock and distress and panic from the native population as even the few earthlings they had encountered previously on scouting trips had panicked at the sign of the Martians and had died on the spot with stoppage of their hearts suddenly.  But strange to say this time there was no panic, no shock, no fleeing groups of bipeds. The earthlings had all seemed to be hunkered down in their dwellings already as if they had advance intelligence of the Martian invasion. Nothing made sense to the Martians as their tripods roamed around the empty streets of the earthlings. The Martian commander then made the courageous decision to go into the dwellings of these creatures and hunt them out from wherever they were hiding. The order was transmitted and the Martian invasion force exited the safety of their assault vehicles and landers for the first time on the blue planet. They started a cordon search and sector by sector they went inside the earthling’s dwellings where to their great surprise they found the earthlings hunkered down individually. They were dragged out, assembled and devoured as when the Martians needed organic nutrition. After two days of frenzied feeding on the earthling liquids, none of the soldiers reported any adverse reaction, so the main body of the invasion force, the civilians and administrators were disembarked from the colony ships and mass feeding on the earthlings started. It was on the third day that the disease began. It started with a fluid flow in the Martians appendages which believe me, when you have eight of them is a real danger to health. This was followed by sense of breathlessness despite the rich oxygen laden atmosphere of earth which was better than mars by many degrees. The ancient and wisest advisors started toppling first unable to breathe and pretty soon the rest of the invasion force was on its back merely struggling to take a single breath. Even the use of respirators inside the Martian landers offered no respite as they seem to have been contaminated too. The Martians suspected an unknown earth disease and decided to try out their experimental translator technology. One of the captured bipeds was brought in and shown the dying Martians and asked why? He answered, as translated as best as the machine could, in a single word-corona. The Martian commanders, those still left alive, decided to withdraw from the planet and ordered their people back on the saucers but sadly none survived the journey back and the mystery of the great Martian invasion to earth remained a warning sign to all the rest of the nine planets. Thereafter the third planet, the blue planet was designated a dangerous planet, a quarantined zone capable of killing any life which landed there. What the earthlings did or how they survived these diseases became the stuff of legends on other planets and taught to the younglings. Many of their younger warriors on Venus, Mars, Jupiter and Neptune were challenged – if you want to show you are a great warrior visit the third planet earth and take a breath there. But sadly, none had the courage to do so and earth was left alone forever by the entire universe.
-         The end –
Dedicated to H.G.Wells and his iconic science fiction thriller – War of the Worlds.

Thursday, March 26, 2020

LIFE IN CORONA TIMES


Life in corona times



These are interesting times..wait..that might be a bit of an understatement, but you know me, I am the master of the stiff upper lip and the take it on the chin brigade. Anyway, what’s interesting about times like these is the absolute certainty amongst certain segments of the population that death is going to come for them pretty soon. Well for people like me who have always walked under the shadows in the valley of death (well I love that phrase and was looking for a place to use it for ages), well for people like me, death was always on the horizon and never a distant possibility and precisely for that reason I had made my peace with it a long time ago. It was only the manner of my death which used to puzzle me not the certainty of it. Well, the corona virus scare seems to have offered a clear indicator of the way the wind is blowing. Death by pandemic- it has a majestic ring to it doesn’t it?  A bit sinister but still majestic. You wouldn’t want to die a humdrum death, would you? You want to die gloriously? Die fighting that evil bastard of a virus particle, that scourge of our times, the black plague of the 2020’s, the Sauron of China called Sars-covid (Wuhan = Mordor, getit?). To go up against all that is evil, to fight one glorious last battle for all humanity and then to die cheerfully, that’s what defines a man, doesn’t it? To stand up to be counted when its all death and gloom and the orc armies are beating at our doors. So, blow the bugle comrades and let’s go out to face the evil that is threatening to erase all humanity from the world. If we fall here, we fall for the glory of all humans, to preserve our way of life and our independence, even if we end up as a piece of statistic about the millions who died. Even if our light is extinguished here and now, the light of all humanity shall burn bright and be preserved for the future ages. March on, with or without us.

Friday, February 22, 2019

There’s No Free Lunch


There’s No Free Lunch


Recently I found myself in an entrepreneur’s meet and quite accidentally too at that. I had come to meet a longtime friend who had shifted to the gulf countries years ago and was working for an angel investing firm. He had come over to India to meet a few prospective clients and as he was busy with his business meeting’s over on the other end of the city, the tech hubs on the east coast roads being a couple of hours at least away from the city and in back braking traffic snarls, the only time I could meet him in comfort was when he headed over to my side of town for this entrepreneurs club meet or something. As I had previously declined his advice to turn entrepreneur or to accept his offer to fund me in building a chain of clinics, I was very reluctant to meet him there as I was sure he would probably be busy somewhere in the milling crowds pressing hands and networking or doing whatever entrepreneurs do when they all get together.

Having reached the hotel lobby, I discreetly parked myself in a corner and tried to message /call my friend by phone but the cellular reception being so poor I just couldn’t reach him to let him know I was there and waiting.  Once I felt that I had waited in the lobby for the decent amount of time, I only had two options either to leave without meeting my friend or to surprise him inside the convention hall. So, I decided to brazen it out past security and gate crash the meet to see what really do these entrepreneurs talk about when no one else is looking.

During the course of my evenings hobnobbing with them I can emphatically say, as an independent observer with no axe to grind, entrepreneurs as a class belong to either the criminally sociopaths or the outright psychopaths (my friend exempted). I have of course heard / read of the robber barons of the pre-depression era USA but this was the first time I realized that a whole community of people not only idolized them but also modeled themselves on them in trying to make a fast buck and exiting immediately, no matter the consequences to other people, the economy or even society as a whole. It was eye opening to realize that the very basic edifice of Silicon Valley which all these entrepreneurs in India were aping to emulate was built on the very same concept of looting money by selling dreams of a big day pay and then throwing in the towel saying the idea was just unworkable.

Fail, fail and fail till you at last hit the big venture capital or angel investment buy off success was a mantra being repeated around the room. Well hello, can your failure be restricted to yourself or at the most your immediate family? No. A failure, any failure, especially of a business or a tech company is going to hit multiple persons around, from customers to vendor to the employees working there. You can’t just plan to serially fail and not be responsible for the consequences of beggaring a lot of people around you in a quixotic quest to be the next tech titan.

The people I listened to in that room where without a doubt one of the vilest, social conscience-less people in the city without a doubt. They were absolutely uncaring for the consequences of how their reckless risk mongering or failure would impact on others’ lives. And these were the people who were moaning about the government not helping them with more loans without interest and tax breaks and tax write offs, because they are bringing investors into the economy – the very same investors they were plotting to rip off by running their companies into the ground and going bankrupt because they had abruptly lost interest in their current business idea and wanted to pursue the next unicorn on the hill.

I don’t claim to be more moral than the next person but god forbid I should turn so callous as to turn a blind eye to consequences to others lives in my quest to be the next tech billionaire.  I would rather live a simple life and walk or ride a bus to work rather than buy a BMW by beggaring a hundred employees working under me because my current idea doesn’t seem to have an immediate pay off date and I would rather be off hard selling my next idea to venture capitalists to pick up my stake and allow me to exit to an island in the Caribbean.

Money, I now realize, can make people commit the most humongous financial crimes without batting an eyelid and then coolly walk away saying they were just being entrepreneurial. Thank god that I don’t have such ambitions. At least my conscience is clean and I can sleep well at nights. To conclude I remember a song from a prabhu deva film where he goes “unn panam panam yen panam, yen panam unn panam” translated as “your money is my money and also my money is my money”. that seems to be the limit of the ambition of Indian entrepreneur’s and not to build the next amazon or uber or facebook, something which will last years if not decades. All this hogwash about following your passion is code speak for money, preferably others money. It’s all about the money baby.

And I hope the government takes a strict look again at these wannabe business men instead of running after manufacturers and industrialists working in the brick and mortar industries for decades. Finally, if an entrepreneur fails, he or she must be made responsible for the failure and taught that in the real-world failure has consequences and no one can dodge them, be it their first business idea or their hundredth. The playing field should be level for everyone to do business in and not be tilted towards certain fields regardless of how attractive and modern they sound.