Monday, October 31, 2011

7-aum Arivu: The review...... a false appeal to the tamil pride to sell movie tickets.

I guess A.R.Murugadass must have heard me speak somewhere-for he has borrowed my message "that you cant trust those Chi-coms" and made it into a full length movie......jokes apart lets get into the nitty-gritty.

The Plotline:

            Surya stars as Bodhidharma, the Indian (tamil?) monk who went to China to spread the good word about Budhhism and also as Aravind , a descendant and a circus-artiste. The first twenty minutes showing the Bodhidharma story has a Discovery-channel feel to it and the audience was restless waiting for the real movie to start....must have reminded them of the old habit of compulsorily showing NDFC films before the main show. Its tough to showcase an entire movie's worth of story in twenty minutes and it would have better if ARM had just used rolling credits to explain the pre-story (like Star Wars) and move on to present times. But instead we get to see a half-baked plotline about a viral disease in china killing lakhs and the news spreading to India (in the pre-internet times) and Bodhi's mother asking him to go and cure those poor chinese peasants....and the funniest part is the village Nanyi Boddhi gets to eventually, (after a 3 year overland? journey...who the heck travelled overland in those days..when there was a perfectly feasible searoute..which chinese had been using for ages to get to india?) and to get back to the story...those poor Nanyi villagers havent heard that there is a disease going around china, which even Surya has heard in Kanchipuram (is that what they mean by the title 7th vision?...that ability to log on to the world wide web with just a mind connection?). Surya before he departs writes a book about his knowledge which in the end plays absolutely no role in the movie..wonder why they wasted a reel showing it? Anyway after Surya shows off his healing skill and later his fighting skills, the chinese thank him as they usually do- by poisoning him, burying his body and making him a god..the laughing budhha.

And then the story moves to the present....a Circus artiste, a pole dancer, a street dancer, an animal caretaker and a highly educated yuppie- all rolled into one - being captivated by an evil researcher at first sight and pursuing her only to find that the tables have been turned and she was the one who was doing all the pursuing. When will our directors learn to go the whole hog and let go of the hero's image issue? Have you ever met any circus artiste who is so fluent in english and acts like a software professional? Most circus artistes are trained from childhood at the circus and rarely know the world outside...but you cant show a hero like that, do you? Even if that gullibility would have suited the story, there is an image to think of, right?

And then he finds out that he was duped- he doesnt react much, doesnt show any anger or hatred- its as if he knows he is finally going to get the girl-its all a big inside joke. And he goes along with Shrutis proposal to regain his Genetic Memory(?)...thats a joke again....and it would take an entire post to point out the flaws in that theory...let me just point out that according to the story, Aravind's DNA is a 80% match of Bodhi's and when he is bombarded with radiation (hulk-effect?) he regains the knowledge hidden there....but let me remind you that the genetic difference between a human and chimp is 97% (the remaining 3% is all that makes us human) and if Genetic memory is regained through regression...Surya should have turned into a monkey and not Bodhi...

The Characters:

For all the hype about the movie....we get to see a poor job done by Surya, the lead actor. He seems to have been infected by the "Jothika-effect"- that overacting is also acting....considering that she is his wife, it was inevitable I guess.....if you are going to make a different movie, you should have the guts to go all out and make it and not worry about your image...like what Ajith did in Mankatha. Here Surya falls in between two stools, trying to balance his limited repertoire of expressions with an awesomely fine-tuned body. If he could have just retained the Bodhi look...beard an all...the rest of the movie would have turned out so much better.

And then we get to the heroine(or villian-1)...Shruti Hasan does a neat job (with her limited skills) of a scientist who would go to any extent to get her thesis done and emigrate (escape) to foreign countries based on it. She gets to speak a lot of dialogues about the history of Tamils which feels so strange, given that she is not a typical Tamilian-looker. And she also gets to cuss a bit, which is a first for a Tamil film.

And then the main villian- Dong li- a monk, who was trained at Shaolin temple and who goes around killing people with his hypnotic looks...well, this is a film, so you gotta believe it. The actor whoever he is, seems to have misunderstood that to look menacing- you just need to sneer at people. Halfway through the movie, I was wondering if Prakash Raj could have made a more convincing villian if you had just slanted his eyebrows a bit...because Dong Li, the martial arts expert, having trained in kung-fu since childhood,  rarely uses it and all that lack of practice shows in the climax, when a half comatose surya, beats the crap out of him with a few remembered moves from his DNA and a little dust-storm he creates with his mind.

And finally the music.....well, it sucks- no second thoughts. Harris took the money and gave ARM a lemon. Well, on second thoughts, it was my money dudes, your money,our money- the 2-G spectrum money looted from all of us- which went into the making of this movie...so we were the ones who didnt get our money's worth.

The verdict:
 An average movie...which might just might regain the money it spent by clever marketing and hype appealing to Tamilian pride. Are tamils so innocent that they will beleive anything if it appeals to their "lost" grandeur? There is an whole industry thriving on it (on the web especially)- glorifying the lost Kadal-konda Then- Madurai, Kumari-kandam and other lost Sangams, that it was just a matter of time, before someone had the brainwave to make money out of it. 7th sense may just be the beginning of this.

One final thought: As people know, my mothers side of the family is from Kanchi- so I am a half-Pallava myself- and my maternal grandmother used to say that the Pandya people (people from around Madurai) were good with their tongue (speech) while the Kanchi people (the Pallavas) were very good with their hands (doers, instead of talkers). Strangely, after so many years, she has been proved prophetic.....my girlfriends seem to agree with her statement about the hands (my hands on their...)...so genetic memory must exist somewhere in me too?




Monday, October 10, 2011

On Fake Boobs....and Film Stars.....

Venkat was here this afternoon...actually he called me up at around 4'PM and said "Machan, I am back in Chennai da..lets go grab a beer".....I sat up straight and asked him "When did you come back from Germany?" he said "Two weeks machi" and I asked "Lost your job again?". He went straight to one of his trademark lies "naah, I have shifted from Deutsche Bank to Royal Bank of Scotland, Chennai branch..." I let that one go.... (seriously, is there anything like that?)....and told him "The time is just past 4 pm..too early for a beer"..He guffawed at my ignorance and explained "In germany, we have a beer whenever we want...all time's beer time"....and if you dont find the above conversation as funny as I do - its because you dont know the background story - that venkat had received a grand farewell party and send-off to Germany just a month back....two weeks in germany and he was back...and showing off "German Attitude"......the Germans must also have found him impossible to handle and shifted him back to India, I guess.

So, to cut a long story short, we met up at a place near our home and decided to have just tea (my condition).....Venkat wanted to go to one of our old haunts in egmore....a Tea-kadai, right opposite the  Egmore Railway Station..where we used to have tea in the evenings, arriving together from Santhome, before splitting up in different directions(in different buses) to our homes, during our long ago school days. That told me one thing- he was still on that perpetually low budget of our school days....and the Deutschmark must have fallen very low when compared to the Indian Rupee.....

As we stood there, having hot cups of chai, from the roadside chetta-kadai, Venkat seemed to concentrate on something behind my back, rather than on my fascinating conversation......I was irritated and turned around to see what he was staring at so fixedly...turned out to be a lady with very big assets- standing at the corner of the lane which leads to the Imperial hotel. Lady- is a term I use advisedly, for she seemed to be in the comforting business, in short, a prostitute....the only thing which seemed to attract the attention of all the passerby's (males atleast)- her USP- was her enormous boobs, hanging halfway down to her navel...it was her calling card- so she had let it loose without any tight encumbrances restraining it- and this was around 5pm in the evening- at Egmore Railway Station area....so where were the cops? must be stopping unwary two-wheeler riders for mamool, I  guess.

Anyway, after looking for some time at the scene-on-view, venkat turned towards me and said...."In germany, everyone is like this, with big boobs, machi and they show it freely"...I enquired "Is that why you came back? because you finished seeing all the boobs in germany?" He sniggered and went on "but Indians are indians da...nativity you see..this is the biggest I have seen in Chennai...do you think it is fake? you know something stuffed inside the blouse to draw customers?" I shook my head emphatically "No padding da...otherwise she would have worn a bra..not let it hang loose like this" and inspired by his comment that this was the biggest he had seen in chennai, I reminisced with him about the famous Stanley experiment.

Long, long ago, when I was doing my senior house-surgeon'cy in Stanley Medical College...there was a famous experiment done there by the Post Graduate students of the Plastic Surgery department (without the knowledge of the authorities). There was a student nurse who had been posted in the Plastic surgery department and who had complained of having small sized breasts...the kind hearted PG students on duty had tried to ease her worry with silicone injections- to enhance her bust line.....as her size kept increasing, she kept coming back for more...why not? after all, she was getting famous throughout the college- going from A-to-E cup- through all the letters of the alphabet....it finally ended up as a group project- with the outgoing PG batch handing over the case (the nurse) to their incoming juniors to take care of her and continue the injections just to see how big she can get.....when we heard this story, we (my housey batchmates)- spent a lot of time in other departments - roaming around to catch a glimpse of her -but never did and till date, I am not sure whether it was just an urban myth- but it sure had a ring of authenticity about it....

Anyways to come back to the main topic...as Venkat said- "You cant help it....when you are in the SHOW- business, you need well developed assets to develop your business" and I replied "Damn true machi, we can blame this poor woman, but how many of us blame our celebrities and film stars, who do the same?" Venkat asked "Flaunting their assets, you mean?" "naah" I replied "flaunting their artificially enhanced assets to ensnare producers/directors/and the paying public"....."For example?" prompted Venkat, always curious for a little gossip from the medical profession....I drawled "For example, the Actress A....remember her, the one who won an award last year as a new face? she has since moved onto pakka-commercial cinema and is now flaunting her well developed boobs....but machi- it isnt a natural development, as she maintains...it was a doctors gift to her...of course, she must have paid through her nose for it, but what the fuc*...she has landed up roles, even itsy-bitsy ones, in big budget movies and with hit actors who on noticing her newly developed assets have started recommending her left and right...she is on her way to big bucks, dude...a small investment has paid out well for her hasnt it?"

"Anyone else machi" he asked hopefully...."Well, I drawled, there was Actress L.....and aww!!!!look at the time - I have a consultation right about now...patients waiting, gotta leave, see you later dude" and I escaped....





Sunday, October 9, 2011

Blog Meet-2011 --- Cars and Girls......

Had an interesting time this afternoon with lots of fellow bloggers form Chennai at the Hyatt Regency hotel at the Indi-blog Meet organised by Tata Motors to launch the Tata Grande......

Ok...thats that.....My obligatory tribute according to the contract is over and done with- lets get to the meat of the matter.

For the past two days, a babe with a sweet voice (gomathi something?) had been pestering me that she really wanted to meet me on sunday at the Hyatt hotel...now before you speculate further (as i too did)- it turned out that she was just promoting a product placement by Tata Motors by organizing a Blogger meet. Seems the people behind Indi-blog Co- have sold Tata Motors some snake oil that people buy cars after reading reviews on Blogs, EXCuse me? you heard right, dudes......YES....I see you nodding your heads in agreement- A sucker is born every minute- but an entire company????? wasnt there atleast one guy out there who said "hold on, the emperor has no clothes on?" Well no one did, and I got to attend a Launch Party with free ride/food/the works....

The brief was to be at the Tata Motors showroom at Mont road where a free ride on the new car was awaiting us. When i showed up, there was just one more guy there - Ashok- in the hopes of hitching a free ride.....it just goes to show that the average Chennai'te seems to have woken up. We spent a relaxing half-an-hour with their General Manager who seemed to agree that "the customer is always right"....every sentence of his started with the words "as you rightly said sir....." well, nothing gets my goat like someone quoting me indiscriminately...- so I spent more and more time making outrageous claims about his company's car, trying to provoke him into some sort of heated discussion- but he withstood all temptation to contradict me and I guess, he won that round....

We were next taken around and shown the car- which was nothing but your old Tata Sumo with a minor facelift- they have stuck a little chrome gilding here and there and renamed it Tata Grande....dont get me wrong, I have nothing against the Sumo..it was a fine, old vehicle when it came out a few years ago- the favorite of all those directors who wanted to show bomb-blasts and faction fights (enn kitta 10 sumo'la allunga erukkanga, unn kitta?)in their movies- by lining up the Sumo's and blowing them up spectacularly....what the company is now attempting is to reposition it as a family friendly (as opposed to gangster-friendly?) vehicle.......

We were then offered a test drive to the hotel for the launch party- which I wisely refused to take...(new vehicle, why take the risk?) and we reached the Hyatt Regency....the first thing I noticed on reaching the Party venue was- it was a very Family-Friendly event......by which i mean that a lot of the female sex present was the family type.....Blogging world is supposed to be filled with the wild types, right, so where were the wild girls? the ones I had come to meet.....hell, I didnt lose my sunday siesta to trade FB Id's with a lot of aunties.....Tata Motors- there goes one star...Crowd quality=Poor.



And after relaxing my usual strict standards (on the kind of girls I look at) - I circulated a bit around the room to get a better view...and I had to change my mind and retract my earlier statement..the aunties of chennai are sportive folks( a big hand to them, guys)...there was a generous display of cleavage on view, with tight fitting clothes etal.....and three cheers to their absent husbands too- who had (with pleasure?) permitted their wives to liven up the Tata Car Launch...(was it a corporate sponsorship deal?) I moved around from group to group (always trying to find the best viewing angle's) and there were serious discussions going on about Chennai's Environmental(?) Status, Garbage Problem (?WTF....), Cooking tips blogs and heritage walk blogs....I realized that, holy hell, these guys were serious....there was one particularly serious discussion going on about monetizing blogs and their blah, blah, blah...and the best female crowd seemed clustered around it...just goes to show, that pannam'na ponnamum vaya polaakum...(Roughly translated- even the dead open their, err,....mouths for money).



After some yawn inducing promotional videos screened by the company- we were asked to take part in click-a-best-picture competition....in effect, licence to Klick(anything...) despite the inadequate pixel rate on my mobile camera- i got quite a few artistic shots of well developed assets from vantage points....and then asked us all to share them with the organisers....hell, if they had seen my photos...the exec's from tata would have had an heart-attack (collectively)....

After a bit of tea, we were let loose to socialize and ogle at close-up range whatever had attracted our attention earlier... By then it was time for me to exit gracefully, as i always do......and i did.


In conclusion although this event wasnt upto my usual standards (for example, no one got drunk and vomitted)...it was all in all a 3-star event....1 star for the car, 1-for those sportive women and 1-for their generous husbands (kodai vallalgal)- who brightened a sunday afternoon for the rest of us......

Friday, October 7, 2011

Live Simply......and Damn all appearances

I was at a Alumni part recently and my fellow students of long ago wowed me with their effortless displays of ostentation's by waving around their latest Blackberry's and i-phones and talking about how cool it was to drive their new Honda SUV's or Toyota Corolla/Camry's .....I was literally holding back my tummy with suppressed laughter when I remembered a recent post I had read off the internet that said that men who feel inadequate in the "size/performance" that matters overcompensate with the size of their other worldly assets...

Be that as it may, most of them were surprised that I had only a entry level mobile with me and my trusty old (8-year old) Santro car....I pared off questions about my financial dealings and my earnings despite all the pointed questions asked of me- because I felt then and still feel that it was not the right occasion to discuss my financial solvency and I was merely there to meet and greet old friends and have a good time with them. Well we spent the rest of the evening in high spirits and had much fun.

The point of this blog post is not to discuss whether my friends pride in their newest toys was justified. It was their money- they had worked hard, earned it and it was theirs to spend whichever way they wanted to. Fine. But were they also justified in expecting to apply their same standards to everyone?

My friends since their days at college had set up their own practices, and then branch offices, and rushed from one clinic to another every few hours all day. Some of them had their own labs/x-ray shops and even pharmacies. They were making money hand over fist from daybreak to midnight.....while I on the other hand have restricted my practice but explored more options in my life- I have had a good life (touch wood) explored all my other interests like a career in media, my passions like dance and basically have no issues with life. So what if I don't have the latest model mobile phone- my life is richer and more satisfying and I probably wont have an heart attack at 40.....(or wonder whether the kid who looks so different is really mine and when did that happen?)

And I have a mobile phone that makes calls, sends messages, even access the internet when i want to very urgently.....and I have a car which takes me from point to point when i want to....and I have so much peace in life....so who is the person with the better life? I leave it to you to judge....

Its not that I am lazy, or don't know the value of money.... I do- and its what I am precisely talking about here. The best thing my dad did after I finished college was to put me on my own two feet and ask me to take care of myself. he declined to be my angel investor or to put up the seed money........I had to find my own capital- it involved the customary- sweat, blood and tears and so unlike my other friends - I have really enjoyed the money I have made with the sweat of my brow.....and hence my hesitation on spending- when it comes to things I find non-essential....because, I have known people who- the moment that they earn more money, they think that it is only natural that they spend more, putting them back to square one. And that goes double for people, who's dads are already with well established practices...the so called 2nd generation- somehow, when you do not have to build everything from scratch, you do not really value money.

And finally when some of the guys ask me, 'What is the point in making so much money if you don't enjoy it?' The thing is that I don't really find happiness in buying latest gadgets, jewellery or in showing off to others. Even if buying something makes me happy it is only for a while, it does not last. Only if something attracts me by its very beauty or esthetic appeal- i go against my better sense and buy it. Thats love at first sight and can be excused, you know..

And I would go out on a limb and say that if you need material things to make you happy, then you live a pretty sad and unfulfilled life....well thats me....so what do you think?