Sunday, December 27, 2009

COP15- The climate change story

I am vindicated. Although it gives me no pleasure to say so - i still feel vindicated. Long, long ago, back when the primary elections for nominations to the US Presidency were going on - I supported Hillary Cinton for the reason that she was pretty much predictable. But the American Public rejected my advice in favour of Obama and see where we are. As I rightly feared Obama as president has been all show and no substance- what we in India term a "benami" - a front, a smooth talking presidential front, for all sorts of vested interests. A no-name African-American waltzing to the front of the presidency with campaign contributions raised on the internet- seriously how gullible can you get?

And now its there for all to see- President Obama waltzs into Copenhagen, bullies and threatens a core group of nations to provide him with what he wants - a "historic" photo-op and jets back to Washington. Meanwhile the climate talks are dead- the planet is burning - everyone keeps passing the buck to the next person in the line and by the time we get our act together it is going to be far more difficult to cut back on the ever increasing emission levels.

Add to that the world wide paranoia against nuclear energy - ironic isn't it, considering that the very sunlight we need for survival (plants eat photons of sunlight-photosnythesis, animals eat plants and we eat animals, hence we eat sunlight)- ultimately everyone on planet earth derive their energy from the suns rays, which are produced by a fusion reaction inside the sun- a natural nuclear reaction - clean nuclear energy.

The future of mankind lies in directly harnessing the sun's photons(solar energy) or in controlled fusion reactions. we have reached the end of fossil fuels.. time to kickstart the nuclear energy research race, isnt it? And what happened in Copenhagen? everyone was indulging in blame games- demanding compensation and atonement.

People it is time to move on - and for our species to do that we need effective and intelligent leadership. Sadly the whole world seems to be missing that. We dont need publicity hogs, we need real leaders with working agendas. so who is to bell the cat?

Saturday, September 12, 2009

My Weight Loss Secret- Revealed at last

Many people have over the past 3 years repeatedly questioned me about my amazing transformation from fat to fit- losing over 33 Kilos in a little over a year. And acieving enough cardio-vascular fitness that I'm now a regular at long distance sports meets and marathons....

Now, For the first time ever, (on National Television) I am going to Share the secret of my weight loss....So hold on - here it comes.....Its called, Ladies and Gentlemen....WILLPOWER...

Yes, you heard it right.. I lost all that weight with my mind...Of course, dieting helped and so did exercise- but first and foremost you really have to make up your own mind- accept that you are fat (when you look in the mirror) and avoid trying to find excuses - saying fat people do lead happy lives...take it from me, they dont.

I've been through it all - Binge-eating, serial dieting, blaming others...everything - before I found the courage to accept that it was I who was responsible and I Have to change..

Late at night, when everyone's asleep and you cant go to sleep with hunger pangs - because you are on a calorie-restriction diet...thats when your mind and will-power really need to be strong.

You give in to temptation and something tastes so good that you help yourself liberally to it and feel sick about it later - know you have gained back a few kilos that you reduced just last week....thats when you have to be strong, refuse to give into depression and go back to a starvation-diet till you get back to where you dropped off the wagon...Willpower helps.

So - the secret to weight loss is a strong mind and living like a monk avoiding all temptations as acts off the devil.....I've been on the fast-track path to sainthood for the past three years....

And of course, starvation helps. F**K those doctors/nutritionists and all those diet-advocates...just drink water and restrict yourself to just one meal a day..see how fast you slim down- and you wont die that easy - you are a product of 5 million years of evolution - your body was made to starve....and you'll lose weight even when you sleep.

So, drink water, plenty of water whenever you feel hungry...And be strong...

Good luck, with your weight loss.....

Thursday, September 10, 2009

Kandhasamy the Movie - Review...

Well, I am for once completely non-plussed after watching a movie. Woah! Hold on, you're thinking - was the movie so good?. Thankfully NO. It was average at best, Boring frequently with the usual convoluted tamil-film plot and an atrocious Cock-Makeup and acting sequence by actor Vikram who could have quite frankly dispensed with it for all the difference it made to the movie-experience.

But why am I bewiildered?. The Villian - for God's sake. Second time this year, at a Super-hero movie, the vilian has not only taken the cake but eaten it too.....The notional villian in Kandhasamy, Ashish Vidyarthi, is just about Ok. What I'm talking about, the "Real Villian" about whom a chance remark from the row in front of me at Abirami Mall (noon show) where I'd gone to watch the movie, alone as usual, was the one who intrigued me. As per the story (spoiler alert) the villian is a Nationally- respected Software-czar, with more than a passing resemblance to living persons, who calls himself the "Face of New India". Ring a bell? I was alerted to the resemblance to a gentleman from Bangalore by a group of , of all the people, software students sitting in the front row. They would know, wouldn't they?

Anyway it was all fun after that. Every time the villian appeared somone in the audience would cat-call "Naraya......" or "Inf...." everytime a raid was conducted on the company and hero Vikram would lecture on how these software companies cheat the Indian poor by hiding their profits abroad. What was even more fun was someone was screaming the above "gentlemans" (?) daughters name (I didn't even know he had a daughter till I saw the movie) "Va...." everytime Shriya Saran appeared on the screen - doing Hawala transactions for her father in skimpy outfits/foriegn locales...It was total fun after that, trying to watch the movie and compare it to recent happenings on the news - edge of the seat stuff, trying to understand....

Now, my question is, and I am breaking my head over this (Tell me, Tell me, Tell me,Please).....Does director Susi Ganesan really have some info/dirt on this gentleman and had written it into the screenplay? Or has college students in Chennai picked up a passing resemblance and turned it into a caricature of the "Face of Indian Software Industry"? I can't judge either way without adequate evidence....Will the Real Slim Shady please Stand-up?

Over to you Susi.......

Saturday, April 4, 2009

To Wed or Not To Wed- That is the Question?!****

Ita been a long time since my last post and the fault lies soley with my tranquil mind till date - I was not experiencing any heady emotion to inspire me to rant on these pages. Enough said.

Now I'm going to try and use these pages to clear my mind of a particularly important dilemna I have been facing in the recent past - to wit - the change of my marital status. Trust me - I'm not inclined to either side yet and prefer to keep an open mind. So I'm going to discuss my options here - and if I'm a little brutal - please excuse ...

PARENTAL ADVISORY - The following paras will contain words offensive to delicate-darlings who are requested not to proceed...

With that out of the way lets proceed...

Why should I marry? I'm going to list a few of the reasons society advances to men for getting married (as my friends keep reminding me). The list is not exhaustive , but I think I'll discuss the least important stuff first (Sex & Food- are the topmost things in any guys mind) and go on to matters of increasing importance (like Love, Friendship, Companionship)....And i'm not gonna worry about being politically correct or being called a male-chauvinist or whatever- this stuff is gut-real, these questions are what goes through an average guy's mind when he is selecting, what's aptly called " A Life Partner" (P.s.- you either mate for life or prepare to get killed is the code under which girls down south marry)

PRO: -Have someone to talk to in my old, old age. - I specifically dont mention hearing as I am well aware no wife hears her husband's speech after the honeymoon period is over.

CON: - I'm not much of a talker even now - I rarely speak to anyone and prefer to communicate by SMS.

PRO: - Sex. Can have Free Safe Sex - any time in the confines of home.

CON: - Free? In my dreams - I will be paying with a lifetime of bondage, restricted options for browsing (with attached guilty feelings), explanations to offer every time I ogle a beautiful girl passing by, and as for any time sex- its simply not in my hands is it? there would be so many moody issues to confront...

PRO: - Food - specifically- healthy home cooked food.

CON: - Yah, as long as I cook it myself. Seriously of the Four Girls I have visited as part of my official sight-seeing delegation - Not One - has professed any talent/interest in cooking for me the rest of her life.

PRO:- Love, Friendship, Affection...

CON: - Hah! Hah! Seriously do I even have to reflect on this. I'd be a hopeless romantic if I expected any of the above from an arranged marriage - atleast not until we have lived together for atleast twenty years , when I'd recieve the familiar affection we often give to long-in-use heirlooms or family pets...

PRO: - Advisor, Counsellor, Guide and Friend - ARDHA-NARI Concept - Like Lord Shiva who shares everything equally with his Consort the Goddess Parvati..

CON: - While at it, why not I dream for a Lawyer, Doctor, Auditor and Finacial Consultant all rolled into one? Seriously, Girls these days are so into themselves that to ask for counsel(selfless) is to invite the reply - It's your life, buddy, do what you want..Can't expect my wife to advice/counsel me without being charged a hefty consultation fees.

And right now I'm running to a deadline because my parents have given me an ultimatum to decide on one of two options - they have given me as they seem fed up by my endless ditherings, doubts and postponements. Or else they threaten to withdraw from the deal entirely allowing me to go my own way and choose my own mate. Which is the worst possible scenario I can imagine.

For some reason, I am unable to explain, its been my fate to attract and date girls as far removed from me as possible - in nature, character and intelligence. They have been all, without exception, semi-starved, fashion conscious, stick-thin types with (in recent years) a preponderance of models and actresses among them (as I started moving in the golden circles of Chennai society) And as for me, I cannot for the life of me remember to differentiate a Gucci from a Prada and the only Diesel I'm in contact with is dispensed at the petrol pumps. Being with empty headed beauty babes has been fun but it has given me a decided distaste for the supposed bliss of marital life

So, to come back to my original question - Is it time to make a choice? To close my eyes, put my finger on a photo and marry that girl, whoever is it? Well, its action time in my life- as I'm on the verge of making my decision.

GOD HELP ME......( the writer of this blog has taken time out to go and vomit his guts out -will be back soon-hopefully). Adios