Existential Dilemna's.....

This post will not involve any high-brow philosophical stuff but mundane matters like my sex life- or to be precise my non eistent sex life. I am going to have another birthday soon and am quite afraid that I will end up being India's only remaining virgin. If you think there cant be anything more pathetic then being a 35-yr old virgin - it is being constantly questioned whether my tastes lie in a different direction and being hit upon by gay men. Yuck. Just because I am not getting any action at all doesnt mean I am handicapped. Wait that didnt come out right. To re-phrase it again. Just beacuse I am starving(as no one has invited me to dinner) doesnt mean I would eat out of others plates. Getttit?

So, I am hanging in there, hope hanging by a slender thread, waiting for the magic night when I can make love to my wife..oh yeah! I hear all of you snigger...get real dude- aren't you making a mountain of a mole-hill? I beg to differ. There is a enormous difference between having sex and making love....(Source-all the great literature of the world). If you do it wife your legitimate wife after your wedding in the full knowledge that you are both affectionate towards each other- then it is called "making love". Anything else is just sex. I may be a philistine in such things....but sexual morals do matter to me.

So, here am I....just hanging on to my virginity, day by damn day- hoping something's gotta give soon- my luck will change and I will finally get the presure off my back. And till then I survive by mans greatest invention of all time- masturbation. Which is allowed - legally, morally and religiously, I believe. And if that wasnt allowed - men everywhere would go mad. After all we are all human beings with normal human emotions and feeling aren't we? so I survive- on a daily basis with just hope.

So, here's to me......hope I lose this damn status soon....pray for me.

My 3 Wishes....for the New Year

It's exactly a month to my next birthday and I have thought about 3 things to accomplish within the next 30 days. I am not entirely sure whether i can do all three or atleast one of them but i am sure as heck gonna try.

1) Top of my List is Weight Loss- I plan to lose 5kgs within the next 30 days. going to take a lot of hard work and willpower and time management. As usual I will skip one meal a day and try and work a bit more sincerely in the gym without wasting time staring at all those assorted cleavages, butts and ripped bodies on exhibit.

2) Marriage- I plan to get married or atleast engages within the next 30 days. Now this one is far more difficult as this involoves not only me but also the other party who has to agree to marry me. But no harm done in trying is there and I do have a possible candidate in mind with more than a 50% chance of not turning me down.

3)New Car- this one is actually the most doable i beieve. all it requires is to close my eyes and write a check and spend all my life's savings. I have shortlisted the Swift Dezire diesel but am sorely tempted by the Honda Jazz. But I think commonsense will prevail in the end.

So that it. My three wishes for the next month. And I will blog again on my birthday and let you know how i end up with my wishes.