Neighbours Envy & Owners Pride.....

I had this weird experience recently when I was jolted out of my everyday existence by a astonishing new discovery. As the saying goes...you havent seen anything yet. Life will often surprise you when you least expect it to. And I certainly hadn't seen the surprise I ended up with.

To cut a long story short. Those of you who have visited my residence know that my house (apartment) stands on a 20-feet wide street. The house across mine- facing the street had a curiosity value for me, as one of the windows over there overlooked my room's window by a few feet and I could often, hell, practically daily, see someone standing over there at the window- staring straight into the open windows of my room and at yours truly. At first I was a little embarassed and diffident of this constant and overwhelming attention. But later on I figured out that this was the price to pay for my celebrity status.

As time went on I got more and more comfortable with the idea that my across-the street-neighbour- a silhoutte of a good looking women dressed in the latest fashions - was spending an inordinate amount of time peeping at me. And when have I disaapointed an audience? If she wants a show- she will get one,a great one, I vowed to myself. And from then on- I started doing all my exercising- my biceps curls- with the curtain pushed to one side and the window open- in short - in full view of my neighbouring admirer. I am sure that I had done a great public service by pleasing a lonely womans fantasies. Even if she turned out to be a Stalker in the future.

And then recently, I got the shock of my life. My friend - a Gym buddy- dont want to name him, dropped me off home from the gym and then as he was leaving- he remembered that another dear friend of his - a girl he knew from somewhere - lived in the house opposite and he had often picked her up a few years ago when they went out partying together and he wondered if she still was there and decided to look her up again. Naturally I availed of the opportunity offered to accompany him to the Peeping Tom's place and get introduced. I was anticpating seeing the shock and surprise on the lady's face when she saw who it was standing on her doorstep- her secret fantasy- the guy from across the street- the man of her dreams- on her own door-step.

But the one who got all the shock and surprise was me. The person who opened the door for us was a totally different body-type female to what I had expected. She was a podgy, short type with hyperactive expressions, jerking body language and a loud bass voice- definitely not the type to stand silently for hours together at the window admiring the Handsome Hunk across the street (yours truly). After a little small talk - she invited us inside to her room..THAT room...overlooking the road and my room across the street. She said it was her Studio- the place where she worked and got inspiration from. And what do you think was there?

A "Mannequin" for Gods sake. A Goddamned F*** statue- life-like, life size plaster statue of a Female body with the most perfect curves Ever. The woman across the road turned out to be a Fashion Designer who experimented on that life-size feminine mannequin all her recent designs before she shipped them off to the stores. And she had positioned it near the window to catch the natural light effects on her clothes. And I had spent- wasted- all that time doing bicep's curls and Ab crunches....Now tell me if thats fair?

Now.... I keep my window closed all the time....

Rama's Lament....

Reading the Ramayana for the umpteenth time - this time in the original Valmiki version- the raw, earthy , sensual language of the original sanskrit has moved me immensely. I have come so far as the abduction of Sita when i paused to reflect on the Pathos of Rama- a man who loved truly, loved once and lost and mourned Sita, the love of his life with all his heart.

That picture moved me- i could imagine it with my mind- that heart breaking desolation of Rama when HIS Sita goes missing- not knowing where - the very mystery of what happened to her breaking his mind into a hundred frightening thoughts - reasons as varied as her leaving him herself -disappointed with his Dharma and his respect for his parents which made him choose the forest for a kingdom- dragging a princess along to sufferr the rigours of an asctic life. Women are soft, women love comforts and Sita hadn't bargained for this - when she married a Prince..Had she gone back? could he truly blame her if she had? How could he live without her in this forest all alone?

And all this sorrow for obeying his dad? for loving his parents? Is God fair at all?

So with that in mind- i wrote about the SORROW OF RAMA- this lament:


THE HEART IN THE DARKNESS

Wandering lonely in the night,
Mist curling up my legs.
The forest looms dark and thick
The pathways seen no more
Was this the glades we once cavorted?
Sunlight dappled, sweet springy grass?
Now all looks dark, all lost to sight
My heart fails me more than my eyes
Fear, raw fear oozes up my spine
Curling bit by bit up my gut
To gnaw my insides like a burrowing snake

Lost in myself
I have lost you too
No where to be seen
With naked eye or grieving soul
Where are you,
O’ where are you?
Love of my life
And light of my love
Lost am I without your guiding light

Show me the way,
Light me the path,
take me away
for I cant abide
this endless dark
teeth clinched in grimace
soul shrieking in pain
tongue bitten tight
to stop screaming YOUR name

I look for you all the time
Where once you were with me
And maybe will never be again
Yet where else can I search
For I know not where else you be
Now that you have abandoned me
To curl up and die
Of a broken heart
Too broken to care
Of the paralyzing pain
A reminder of a man
Who once loved a lot
And Lost.

.........................
This is just my take on Valmikis Ramayan- Ganesh's Ram...forgive all errors readers.