Reading the Ramayana for the umpteenth time - this time in the original Valmiki version- the raw, earthy , sensual language of the original sanskrit has moved me immensely. I have come so far as the abduction of Sita when i paused to reflect on the Pathos of Rama- a man who loved truly, loved once and lost and mourned Sita, the love of his life with all his heart.
That picture moved me- i could imagine it with my mind- that heart breaking desolation of Rama when HIS Sita goes missing- not knowing where - the very mystery of what happened to her breaking his mind into a hundred frightening thoughts - reasons as varied as her leaving him herself -disappointed with his Dharma and his respect for his parents which made him choose the forest for a kingdom- dragging a princess along to sufferr the rigours of an asctic life. Women are soft, women love comforts and Sita hadn't bargained for this - when she married a Prince..Had she gone back? could he truly blame her if she had? How could he live without her in this forest all alone?
And all this sorrow for obeying his dad? for loving his parents? Is God fair at all?
So with that in mind- i wrote about the SORROW OF RAMA- this lament:
THE HEART IN THE DARKNESS
Wandering lonely in the night,
Mist curling up my legs.
The forest looms dark and thick
The pathways seen no more
Was this the glades we once cavorted?
Sunlight dappled, sweet springy grass?
Now all looks dark, all lost to sight
My heart fails me more than my eyes
Fear, raw fear oozes up my spine
Curling bit by bit up my gut
To gnaw my insides like a burrowing snake
Lost in myself
I have lost you too
No where to be seen
With naked eye or grieving soul
Where are you,
O’ where are you?
Love of my life
And light of my love
Lost am I without your guiding light
Show me the way,
Light me the path,
take me away
for I cant abide
this endless dark
teeth clinched in grimace
soul shrieking in pain
tongue bitten tight
to stop screaming YOUR name
I look for you all the time
Where once you were with me
And maybe will never be again
Yet where else can I search
For I know not where else you be
Now that you have abandoned me
To curl up and die
Of a broken heart
Too broken to care
Of the paralyzing pain
A reminder of a man
Who once loved a lot
And Lost.
.........................
This is just my take on Valmikis Ramayan- Ganesh's Ram...forgive all errors readers.
Wow! There's feeling for you... intense that it touches the reader - I could feel it - the anguish of Rama.
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thanks for the kind comment V....when i read it now...i cringe..what was i thinking (or smokin?) when i wrote this?
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