Saturday, June 16, 2007

An Impossible Situation

How do you add insult to injury? Well I was at the recieving end of one of those recently when I was handed over an invite to a very posh, very exclusive pool-side party and advised to turn up with a date. For one thing, I don't (not for anytime in the recent past) have a girl-friend and I wouldn't recognize a date if I tripped over one and fell on it. And for another, the offending party who thought he was doing me a good turn (he was after all a close childhood buddy turned fashion designer turned entrepeneur) - politely mentioned that I fit their average profile for the party guests - meaning he assumed I was a High Flying, High living debonair bon vivant (what a pity) and hoped that I and my date for the evening whoever she might be will be well pleased with his hospitality (anymore of this sugary speech- and I'd have diabetes) and that kick-started my Mission Impossible - to hook up with someone before Saturday night - in 3 days time. So, like Tom Cruise, I kicked off in high tempo - I made a list of the girls who would fit in a posh set-up and more importantly who'd be willing to do a one-off with me. By the time I'd eliminated all the impossible and the mad hatter types (the ones who would go anywhere if offered free food), I was left with one possibility only but I didn't dare call her up and remind her again of my existence which for the sake of peace all around it was best that status-quo remain between us. So in desperation , I hung around the RMO's office in the morning during attendance time to Suspect-Profile like the FBI does - to identify potential victims who could be tempted to fall for me. Having failed miserably even in that, by now I was getting so desperate (only 48 hrs left, only 24 hours left), I even, Oh My God, started a conversation with the girl working out at the treadmill beside me on the gym - a nice north-east type. Halfway through it hit me - that I really was sinking in to the pits - and then and there I decided to go out there like a man (without a date) and take it on the chin.

Saturday seemed to hurry up and I was still unable to take a final decision. But I steeled myself and went over anyway. Crossing that threshold, the official red carpet laid out in all pomp-  expecting to be laughed at (for being alone and with no one hanging off the arm like the others) and possibly  to be-shamed off the premises was one of the bravest things I'd done in recent times. And you know what - when I really got over my embarrassment and that humiliated feeling one gets in attending a party without a date - I really enjoyed myself looking around. The party Sucked, Majorly, as the DJ was just playing some soft romantic tracks. All the couples were drifting into the corners for a little tete-a-tete, some smooching, peting, hugging and as the night developed some major body-on-body action. No one hit the dance floor for they had plenty of dark corners around for everyone and no one, even fell into the pool. For a poolside party - thats a "Major catastrophe" - especially when there was no wet T-shirt games. Someone introduced me to a short dumpy woman standing off in a corner (munching something all alone) and said she was a tamil film actress called Sneha and I politely (with as indifferent a look as i can manage- for she really looked plain in real life) said hi!! to her and asked her if she recognized me and wanted my autograph - I mean we are from different worlds and i was enjoying playing up to the gallery and making a fool of that person, because of the way she looked at me, as if i was the local version of bill gates or atleast anil ambani (round one for me). All in all, I wasn't regretting this chance to act out my fantasies and see life on the other side as one of the inside group and the lesson I learnt from this is to have a social life you need to be prepared to take the minor embarassment's in your stride and nothing is as bad as it seems at first. And oh yeah, it helps to have a steady girlfriend if you wanna do this regularly....

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