Saturday, December 28, 2013

Killing With Kindness

Killing With Kindness

I am sorry to say this Mr.So-and-so but i think your wife wants to kill you. Nothing else explains what you just told me.

But doctor I don’t understand, why should she?

How would i know? Have you recently insured yourself for a large amount?

No doctor, nothing like that.

So does she hate you for any reason at all? Have you had an affair with anyone? Like her sister for instance?

No doctor, that is not my weakness at all. I don’t go much for women.

Yes i understand from what you told me that eating well is your weakness (even if you just stuff food inside you mindlessly). So can you think of any reason, any reason at all, that your wife wants you dead?

No doctor I can’t think of a single reason why she wants me to die. But are you sure that I will die if I continue like this?

I am damn sure of it... there can be no other possible explanation to it based on what you yourself told me. Well let me summarize the facts for you again and let’s see if i got it correctly.

You are already overweight and obese and have no time to exercise. But every day  when you sit down to dinner and your wife makes Dosas for you, you don’t know the number of Dosas you eat, you don’t bother to count them but you keep eating as many of them as your wife keeps putting on your plate- which she does continuously telling you that you need your strength.

And if by a miraculous attack of conscience halfway through you get up and refuse to eat anymore- telling her the doctor advised you to control your diet, then your wife fights with you or bursts into tears and forces you to eat all the dosas she has made, right?

That means there is only possible answer- your wife wants to stuff you enough to make sure you get diabetes, kidney failure, hypertension, cholesterol, heart attack and die pretty soon- that is why she keeps giving you hot, hot dosas straight from the stove, what else can explain her behavior and your over eating?

Any other explanations people?

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