Showing posts with label drama. Show all posts
Showing posts with label drama. Show all posts

Tuesday, October 11, 2016

KALI KAALAM- When Kali Plays Havoc -A Short Play.

KALI KAALAM- When Kali Plays Havoc -A Short Play.





Act 1- At A Betrothal Function

Act 1- Scene 1

Mr.Ramanujam’s house- 7Pm in the evening. There are lots of guests seated about and loud conversations going on between them.

Mr.Kumar : I say Mr. Ramanujam this engagement function you have arranged today was even grander than what we expected. All we were looking for was a simple ceremony for a small group of relatives.

Mr.Ramanujam: Oh don’t say like that Kumar sir, or should I call you sambandhi sir now that the engagement is over? Anyway we are all pleased to have such an alliance like yours for our daughter and we just coudnt help not informing all our relatives of our good fortune. Otherwise they might not even talk to us in the future.

(Loud chorus of voices saying; yes, yes, that’s true, we wouldn’t have, this is the right thing)

Mr.Kumar: Well let me not be the reason for such a rift among close relatives. We are simple people Mr.Ramanujam and we believe that simple ceremonies are better when it comes to important things like the future of our children together rather than being ostentatious and inviting envy. That’s the only reason why I asked you to arrange a small betrothal ceremony at your house rather than hold it in some fancy hotel in a gaudy way.

Mr.Ramanujam: I appreciate that sentiment wholeheartedly sambandhi sir. You have proved yourself a genuine person by even refusing any dowry or any other expectations. The least we could do from the girls’ side is to celebrate this marriage in a way it will never be forgotten by our families. Our children definitely deserve that for agreeing to an arranged marriage in this day and age when everywhere we look young people are doing all sorts of low hand things in the name relationships- love, living together and all that sort of trash. I don’t know where this world is going to end up if such things persist in the name of modernity- kali kalam, kali kalam.

Mr.Kumar: Very true sambandhi. Very true. That is why the city was almost drowned in the floods last year. Even Lord Varuna couldn’t bear the things these modern day girls are doing in the name of feminism, women’s rights etc. I wonder how the parents of these girls are able to face their neighbors. In our days the entire locality would have boycotted the family if a girl had behaved like they do now. But let’s leave that aside. We are fortunate to have found such a girl like yours and such a family like yours in this day and age- a pure unspoilt, fully traditional girl who listens to her parents and marries their choice. We are truly blessed to have such a girl come to us as a daughter-in-law. We should visit Tirumala soon and offer our worship to Lord Venkateswara for bringing our two families together like this- as soon as we print the first invitation to lay at the lords’ lotus feet. What say you sambandhi?

Mr.Ramanujam: Very good sambandhi, very good, all credit to the Good Lord Of The Seven Hills who helped bring our two families closer. But one small request from our side.

Mr.Kumar (still in a jolly mood): Of course sambandhi. Do you even need to ask like this? What is it?

Mr.Ramanujam: It’s just that ....ummmph…now that the engagement is over…my daughter feels that woudnt it be better to have the wedding after a few months gap? Just to let the young people get to know each other better? Rather than rushing into it?

(The first sounds of jarring disquiet appear on the faces of both happy parties)

Mr.Kumar: but, but how long can we postpone the wedding after the engagement? Won’t people talk? It doesn’t seem proper for traditional families like us to keep pushing off the wedding date. Besides what need is there for the two to get to know each other at this late stage? Didn’t they already talk when we came to see the girl last week?

Mr.Ramanujam: But that was only for a few minutes, my daughter feels. She wants to get to know your sons likes and dislikes better to enable her to be a better wife to your son from day one. That’s the only reason she wants a little time between the betrothal and the wedding.

Mr.Kumar:  : Oh we are a traditional family but we are not such a strict family like that. Your daughter need not worry about something like that. Let her take her own time to adjust to our family –we won’t mind. Besides she has got the rest of her life to learn about our sons likes and dislikes hasn’t she? Why should we postpone the wedding for such a trivial reason?.

Mr.Ramanujam: I am truly truly sorry to say this Sambandhi. But my daughter insists that we hold the wedding after at least six months. That would help her get prepared for the wedding in the proper frame of mind and to know your son better.

Mr.Kumar: hmmmph…I say Mr.Ramanujam, it would have been better to have told us this condition of your daughters before the engagement ceremony got over. Now we are left with no choice but to fall in with you.

Mr.Ramanujam: But nothing’s changed sambandhi, nothing changes, just that we need some more time to conduct the wedding in a grand manner. We are still very happy to have an alliance with such a traditional family like yours and such a wel respected one too.

Mr.Kumar: I don’t know Mr. Ramanujam we somehow feel this is the wrong decision on your part. We should guide our children when they make mistakes and not encourage them. Look at my son here- he will tie the mangalasutra whenever wherever I direct him to. Girls should not be allowed their whims and fancies and to dictate terms like this when it comes to auspicious events like weddings. But what to do at this late stage. We are helpless. Come – all of you (to his assembled friends and relatives) it’s time to leave, we have intruded on their hospitality too much.

(And as the grooms family leaves in a huff- the varied crowd behind - especially the two old grandmothers on either side murmur softly: bad decision, bad decision, nothing good is going to come out of this, postponing the wedding to a girls whims, we never got to know each other before we married aren’t we still living together?....(the noise fades slowly in the background.)

Act 2 –Later That Night.

ACT 2- Scene 1 – at Mr. Kumars house.

Mr.Kumars Son – The Bridegroom Ashwin Kumar- I think this is a blessing in disguise appa. This gives us time to study the girl too. In fact we can wait and see whether she really resigns her job as she promised to do when we went to see her. I really don’t think an Ad Agency is a decent place for a decent lady to work. But as her father said it was just a hobby for time pass she was working I let it go. Let me use this time to get to know her well and we can take a final call later.

ACT 2- Scene 2 – at Mr. Ramanujans house

Mr.Ramanujans Daughter –The Bride Arundathi Ramanujam : Thank god that you stood by your word daddy. I was afraid you might give in easily. Now that we have postponed the marriage let me talk to that boy and then see if he really is like what he said he was during the girl seeing ceremony. Lets keep the marriage as late as we can- that gives me more time to decide once and for all whether he will fit me or not.

(Again we hear the voices in the background – The Respective Grandmothers murmuring: dont know where this is going to end up but we suspect something bad. Dear God please put some sense into these people and make them fix the marriage immediately.)

Act 3 – Six Months Later.

ACT 3 - Scene 1 – At Mr. Kumars House.

Mr.Kumar – I cant believe it. Never thought they would do this. To ask us to postpone the marriage at this late stage when everything is ready, all our relatives invited and all the invitations mailed. It would be better to stop it once and for all then to keep postponing it to satisfy their whims and fancies.

Mr.Kumars Son – The Bridegroom Ashwin Kumar: i told you so dad, right from the beginning. I always knew that the excuse that girl used - to want to get to know me- was a complete pretext to do something like this. I suspect she planned this right from the beginning. Thats why she asked for time. Now that she has got what she planned for, she wants to keep us permanently on hold till she finishes her project in the USA and comes back next year. Or if something goes wrong there she can hurry back here and pretend nothing ever happened. Do they take us for fools? To keep waiting eternally for that girl? As if there are no other girls around?

Mr.Kumar : Yes, yes, they must think we are fools to wait around for another year for that girl to come back from her project. Let me talk to Mr.Ramanujam one last time and we will decide once and for all.

Mr.Kumars Son – The Bridegroom Ashwin Kumar:  Yes dad, talk to him and tell me what you decide. As if there are no other girls around willing to marry me. You tell me dad and i will get a dozen girls willing to marry me tomorrow. In fact there is one girl who works on my team, who is of our own caste but different gothra, everything. Mum has already seen her and likes her. You just tell me what those people say and we will decide once and  for all.

ACT 3 - Scene 2 – at Mr. Ramanujans house

Mr.Ramanujam: But what will our people say at our calling off the wedding at this late stage? Why coudnt you have told us earlier?

Mr.Ramanujans Daughter –The Bride Arundathi Ramanujam:  But i did tell you daddy and you woudnt hear me. You are always listening to that old foggy- grandmother who keeps predicting dire things if i dont marry immediately. I told you this was my ambition- to go on at-least one project abroad. When every dog and donkey in my company can go on an offsite project why cant i?  Let me finish the project and come back and marry someone. In fact i can even find good people from our caste their itself. So many of our people are working there and they will all be broad-minded too. In fact even in my team which is going with me there are so many saadhu paiyans who wont cross a line i draw instead of arguing with me like the maapillai you fixed for me. Good riddance to him and his family. Let him marry a village girl who stays home and cooks for him.

Mr.Ramanujam:  I cant take it that lightly. I am worried about what people will talk about us? You would have gone to America but we have to answer everyone from the apartment watchman to the vegetable seller as to why the wedding was stopped at this late stage.

Mr.Ramanujans daughter –the bride Arundathi Ramanujam:  Oh Daddy, you can always lay the blame on that boy. Tell everyone that we found out his character was bad and he had connections with his female co-workers. That way we can keep the moral high ground and no one will blame us. They will believe anything of boys nowadays.

(Again we hear the voices in the background – the respective grandmothers murmuring: this is what we warned against when we told to hold the wedding immediately after the engagement. Listen to us- listen to our voice of experience- we knew something like this will happen when two people are not definitely committed to each other but are left free to explore other options. Unless there is a sense of finality which the thali around the throat brings and people have that sense that their life is finished once and for all with the wedding- they will always think about other people. But once married they would have adjusted to anything, anyhow and probably lived and celebrated their Shastibhoorthi- the 60th wedding together. All kali kalam, kali kalam- who listens to old and wise people nowadays? Its all youngsters choices and family tragedies – and full regards to Kali.)

- The End-



Wednesday, February 20, 2013

And Thats How We Do It.- A One Act Play…



And Thats How We Do It.- A One Act Play…



Act 1. Scene1. Actors 1 & 2- Both Male

[A dimly lit room with a large desk and a well built elderly man sitting behind it peering owlishly through thick glasses at the chair opposite. A call comes on the desk phone and he grunts into it. A knock on the door and he looks up]

No.1. Hello come on in. please sit down. Now tell me, what can I do for you?

No.2. Sir, I am leaving. I have come to hand in my one months notice for resignation.

No.1. What? You are resigning? But why? Why all of a sudden?

No.2. It isn’t sudden. I have been thinking over this for some time. This job is taking too much of my time and I am not able to concentrate on other important things like family.

No1. But. This isn’t new to any of us right? We all knew what we were getting in to right when we signed up didn’t we? And at this stage of your career to make such a move is strange.

No.2. I don’t think so sir. I have gained sufficient from life. Now its time to give something back. I want to do something new and exciting. I want to teach. I want to pass on my knowledge to the next generation. Do my bit for society and the profession. So if you could just act on my resignation.

No1. Well if you really insist. Teaching uh? Where?

No.2. Well, havent decided yet.

No.1. Where? come on, you can tell me....an American university right?

No.2. Canada actually..

No.1. of course ...can we do anything to help you change your mind? i will double your pay. If you stay.

No.2. still you won’t be able to reach the dollar rates they are offering. i am will be getting more money per year there than i can make here in 5 years or even 10.

No.1. ok...if you have decided than nothing i say is going to change you. I will be sorry to lose someone like you. if everyone of us goes away abroad....(shakes head)

No.2. can I go now? I have still lots of things to do to wind up here.

No.1. ok you can go now.



Act1.Scene 2. Actors 1 & 3- Both Male

[ No1. Barks into the desk phone. "Send in the next person please"]

No.1. Yes.

No.3. 'Evening Sir.

No.1. Come on in. please sit down. Now tell me, what can I do for you?

No.3. Sir, I am leaving. I have come to hand in my one months notice for resignation.

No.1.What? You are resigning? But why? Why all of a sudden?

No.3. It isn’t sudden. I have been thinking over this for some time. I am going to give up all this and become a monk.

No.1. A monk? Like in religious?

No.3. Yes Sir. A spiritual life is calling me. i am going to dedicate myself to it. i want to do something good for society.

No.1. your chief was here just now. And I will make the same offer to you as i did to him. I will double your salary and make you chief .

No.3. uh..oh..hmm...Ok... I guess i can always become a monk next year.

No.1. ok then. come back tomorrow...

No.3. And that’s how we do it.

[And so it goes]

...........Curtains............









Tuesday, January 22, 2013

Well Played, Clap, Clap......



Disclaimer: Not based on a true story. All characters and dialogues are purely fictional. Any humour is purely incidental and unintentional.



At a Location near you…..A Few Days ago…..On a Lazy Sunday...

He : Hi!

She: Hi!

(Long silence follows)

(He in mind voice: Damn this is so awkward. Talk, talk, what to talk about?)

He : So what do you think?

She : About what?

(He in mind voice: damn woman you know what I am talking about, why make this so hard on me?)

He: hmmm....this arranged marriage thing? You ok with it?

(He in mind voice: with it? IT? Of all the stupid things to say. Why didnt I say with me? ME? Now what will she think?)

She: I guess it’s ok. If it’s ok with everyone, it’s ok with me.

(He in mind voice: uh? Now does that It mean Me or does It mean the whole arranged marriage thing? Why is she so cryptic? Is she playing hard to get? Why are women so frustratingly hard to understand? Ok, let’s underplay it and see where it goes)

He: Thats nice. I mean your being Ok and all. Anyway what do you think about the future? About what we should do I mean?

(He in mind voice: there, that’s out. I have indicated to her so subtly that I am ok with her too. Damn I am so clever, am I not?)

She: you first tell me what you have planned about the future and then I will tell you.

(He in mind voice: Ohoh!! so now we are negotiating are we? Well, its time to roll out my Mother Theresa speech...Yo! Nobel committee- hold that peace prize)

He: Me? I want to serve society. I want to make sure that my talent and education does not go waste. I want to help poor people. To reach those who do not have access to good healthcare because they live in rural areas. I want to and practice my calling, my noble profession in some small town or rural area where there is no adequate medical facilities.

(He in mind voice: There, I have said it with a straight face. Oh wait, she didn’t take me seriously did she? Is that a tear peeking out of the corner of the eye? )

She: Hmm!! good.

(He in mind voice: Good? Just good?  I am outraged...that was an ass-kicking performance even if the audience didn’t clap on cue. Do you know how tough it is not to laugh out hysterically when speaking such douchey dialogues. By rights this was a shoo-in for an Academy Award for Best Actor...dude, where’s my statue?)

He: So, what about you?

She : Well, I want to enjoy life, experience it, I mean. I want to go have adventures, you know?  Trekking in the Alps? Scuba diving in the Bahamas? Go on an Alaska cruise. Go see the Angkor vat temple in Cambodia. I want to experience all of these things. I just want to get on a bike and go riding away into the sunset.

He: (After a thoughtful pause) I see. So this what you plan to do every vacation?

She : Well no...this is what I want to do daily in my life. Not yearly once on annual vacation like boring people.

(He in mind voice: boring people uh? That means the rest of humanity bar you, I guess, you stupid -----)

He: You know who you remind me so much of? Angelina Jolie. In..what was that movie? Ah!! Tomb Raider..you look just like Angelina Jolie in Tomb Raider

(He in mind voice: yeah! Especially that part where the robot bashes her skull in. That would account for the previous statement you made)

She: Thank you. A lot of my friends have also said I am like that only.

(He in mind voice: And you believed them? Never realized they were simply having fun at your expense? How stupid can you get?)

He: (in neutral voice) : So, how do you plan to do this? Going to the Bahamas, Alaska and all will be very costly, you know. All this experiencing adventures stuff will require a lot of finance. Have you made any killing in the stock market recently?

She: (shaking her head) No. That is why I am marrying. In fact that is why I agreed to marry when my parents convinced me. My father does not understand my ambition in life. That’s why I agreed to arranged marriage- as I want my husband to put money in my account and I will take it off the ATM and go have my adventures. How can I enjoy life, if I have to keep working to save money? The best thing for you to do would be to go to your village and serve people, make money and send it through wire transfer to me, wherever I am and then we can both live the life we want.

(He in mind voice: Money one man, enjoys one man, ah? Nice plan...and what do I do alone in the village? Sit around and scratch my itch? You...you..you..Spluttering in outrage...)

He: As to that, let’s talk about that later. You should know that I am very conventional type. I rarely go out. I even go to see a film only once every three years or so. I never take leave from office for vacation also. I am very busy, dedicated type. Dedicated to my profession, I mean. We are total opposites. My life is very routine and boring you know.

(He in mind voice: damn woman, understand. Do I have to spell out everything for you in black and white? Go on...make the connection.)

She: I see....in that case...we have to think on this. I am very adventurous. I don’t like sitting at home, cooking and all.

(He in mind voice: Yes. Yes. Yes. Thank God for that. At last. My hard-earned bank account is safe.)

He: hmm..that’s what I was thinking too. We wouldn't sync. I am a very conservative and chauvinistic type you know. I would expect my wife to do all the work at home while I work all the time at the hospital. I also want a dozen kids, half a dozen of this and another half a dozen of that, you know, boys and girls, I love children, they are very special...and..and...(Should shut up and stop babbling in fright)

She: Really? You want that many?

(He in mind voice: that’s it...go on..go on..say it..say NO, no?..please...don’t make me beg)

She: Well, I will think about this and let you know. You too think about it, ok? Take your time.

(He in mind voice: its 'Bout time. As if I need more time to think.)

He : OK..see you then...have a nice life, adventuring all over the world. Send me some picture postcards from wherever you go. Bye see ya.

(He in mind voice: Run Forrest Run.....)

Later.....a Long Time Later....

(He in Mind Voice: why do I have a nasty suspicion that I was played totally like a fool? Right from the beginning?)