Wednesday, March 12, 2014

Me 50-You 50…Deal Ok?

Me 50-You 50…Deal Ok?

Based on an actual conversation…..

So this morning I get a call from an unknown number. As I am free (sort of) I pick up the phone and say

Me: Hello

Unknown Woman (American Accented English): Hiya there....

Me: Hi...hi....Ma'am.....who's this?
U.W.: This is Priya calling from World Vision Foundation. If you are free can I talk to you for a few minutes.

Me: Free, free, i am free only... (And not just right now, I am free for dinner tonight too)

U.W.: Thank you for that positive response. What i wanted to talk to you about Mr....

Me: Ga...nesh, the name's Gan...nesh.

U.W.: Thank you for telling us your name Mr.Nesh. What I wanted to talk to you about was that the World Vision Foundation is one of the largest charity organizations in India and a part of World Vision Worldwide. We help a lot of children with disabilities and diseases and sickness. Do you know Mr.Nesh that right now so many children in your city are suffering from lack of medical attention?

Me: Really? That is quite a deplorable situation.
U.W.: I am so glad that you understand Mr.Nesh. I am sure you would like to help those poor children. You can send us a Cheque or a Demand Draft in the name of World Vision Foundation or you can directly deposit your contribution to our bank account number in Citibank account no ....

Me: (Ok, so this is what it was about uh?) Miss.Priya you didn’t know that you were talking to a doctor did you? So your worries are all over- i will message you my hospital address. Why don’t you bring all those sick kids’ right over to see me at the hospital tomorrow? I can do free treatment for each and every one of them and get my colleagues and friends at the hospital to pitch in about it, tomorrow morning at eight am?

U.W: Uh....tomorrow...

Me: Ok, Day after tomorrow? Any time this week? I can assure you that I am the best damned surgeon in the city so the kids will get the best treatment and you don’t have to worry about them anymore.

U.W. hmmm...uh...oh...

Me:  Ok, tell you what, i have another idea...Miss.Priya are you a free volunteer or a paid employee at World Vision?

U.W.: ummphhh...I work here

Me: Yeah, i get that. Seeing how you are so worried about those sick children i am sure you won’t mind donating half your salary to them, right? If you do then I will match you - I will donate half my salary too- if you will do yours. How about that? We will each donate half our salaries this month. Can I count on you for it? For the sick children? Can I call up my lawyer and arrange things immediately to make sure it is legal and proper? What do you say?

U.W.: Silence. Click. Phone lines cut.

And that’s how I tell 'em to take it and stick it up their…..

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